Amish Midwives Read online

  “Maybe you two can talk about it again another time and clear the air. You look like you’re going to fall over. Go take a shower and get to bed.” Marlena pointed to the sink. “I’ll clean this up.”

  “Danki.” Kristina yawned again. “Gut nacht.”

  After a long, hot shower, Kristina dressed in her nightgown and then crawled into bed. As she closed her eyes, she recalled again how her body had reacted when Aidan touched her hand. She still had feelings for him, which put her in peril all over again.

  “Lord,” she whispered. “Please guide and protect my heart.”

  Then she rolled over and let sleep find her.

  * * *

  Aidan felt as if he were stuck in a fog of confusion as he guided his horse home. His mind kept replaying their conversation—how he’d opened up to her and how she’d seemed to open up to him. Their conversation flowed so easily, and he felt comfortable with her—more comfortable than he’d ever felt with Louise or Rosetta. Why did he still trust her after all of these years?

  But some of the things she’d said to him didn’t make sense. She insisted that Aidan had broken her heart, and the pain in her eyes when she told him had nearly destroyed him. How could she say that he’d hurt her when she was the one who ended their relationship?

  For the past ten years, Aidan had believed she’d broken up with him without good cause. But what if he had hurt her? He felt as if the world were spinning out of control. Everything he’d believed seemed to be out of focus and reversed. He longed to turn the horse around and go back to finish the conversation. How could he have betrayed her?

  He groaned as he recalled the letter he had written to Louise. It had been brief as he’d explained that he was dating Kristina and planned to marry her. Why had he allowed Kristina to doubt his intentions? And the letter from Louise never said the things Kristina repeated to him. It was as if she’d read a completely different letter. How was that even possible?

  But if Kristina felt betrayed, then why did she jump so quickly into a relationship with Lester?

  Aidan bit down on his lower lip as he let out an exasperated growl. If only he could turn back time and fix things! He may be confused about the past, but he was certain about one thing—he needed to see Kristina again. His soul craved her, and he needed to talk this through with her.

  And he knew to the depth of his bones that he didn’t feel the same way about Rosetta.

  “Lord, please help me sift through these confusing feelings. And give me the strength to be honest with Rosetta when I see her again. And if it’s your will, please help me work everything out with Kristina.”

  Calm settled over his soul. With God’s help, he would find a way to get Kristina back in his life.

  Ten

  Kristina carried a coffee carafe as she walked toward the Yoder family’s barn on Sunday, a week and a half later. The warm May sun kissed her cheeks as she breathed in the spring air and smiled at the sound of birds singing in the trees.

  She peered over at the barn door just as Aidan walked out, and her pulse ratcheted up. She’d spent the past ten days analyzing their conversation on her sister’s porch, and she felt unsettled. She longed to talk to him about the past and understand what had truly gone wrong between them. Perhaps if she spoke with him today, they could make plans to talk in private.

  She picked up her pace as she approached Aidan, but she stopped when Rosetta appeared and touched his arm. He looked down at her and smiled, and Kristina felt her heart crack open. Once again, she’d set her hopes on Aidan, and he had crushed them.

  The truth stood in front of her—Aidan had lied when he said he only considered Rosetta a friend. He looked at her with such fondness, it was obvious they cared for each other.

  Holding her head high, Kristina moved past them, but they didn’t seem to notice. She made her way to the long tables and began filling cups. She smiled and nodded at the men who were ready for lunch, but inside, her soul deflated.

  Once again, Aidan had betrayed Kristina, and now she had to find a way to live with the pain as Rosetta and Aidan planned a future together. How would she face them every Sunday at church?

  This time Kristina’s heart might not recover.

  * * *

  After lunch, Aidan rushed out of the barn after Kristina as she walked toward the house. “Kristina! Wait!”

  She spun to face him, and her eyes narrowed as she stared at him.

  He slowed his pace and felt his brow wrinkle. “Was iss letz?”

  “Nothing.” She lifted her chin. “I’m just tired.”

  “I was hoping we could talk. Could I possibly visit with you this afternoon?”

  She shook her head. “I had a long week, and I really need to rest.”

  Aidan took in her expression and was sure she was lying to him. Why had she put up a wall after opening up to him last week on the porch?

  Rosetta sidled up to him, and he resisted the urge to ask her to leave.

  “Hi, Kristina,” she said before turning to Aidan. “Could I get a ride home today?”

  He hesitated and then nodded. “Sure.”

  As much as he wanted to talk to Kristina, it was time for him to tell Rosetta the truth about his feelings. He’d spent the past couple of weeks praying and thinking, and he needed to be honest with Rosetta before he tried to work things out with Kristina.

  “You two have a gut afternoon.” Kristina’s voice was as sharp and cold as glass as she glared at Aidan. Before he could respond, she spun on her heel and marched toward the kitchen.

  Aidan looked over at Rosetta. “I’ll give you a ride, but I can’t visit today.”

  “Oh. Okay.” She looked confused. “Should we get going then?”

  Aidan and Rosetta walked to the buggy together, and he opened the passenger side door for her. Once inside, they began the short trip to her house. He stared at the road ahead and silently prayed for the right words to let her down without breaking her heart.

  “I’m sorry I haven’t seen you the past week,” she began. “I’ve been busy with my parents’ store.”

  He nodded and listened as she discussed the store for the remainder of the ride. When they reached her house, he led the horse up the rock driveway and then halted it at the top.

  “I would like to bring you another meal. Maybe this week?” Her expression was eager.

  Aidan took a deep breath. “Rosetta, I need to be honest with you. I care for you as a freind, but I don’t think I’ll ever feel more than that for you.”

  Her lip trembled, and tears sparkled in her dark eyes. “But we’re still getting to know each other. You don’t see the possibility of us being more than freinden?”

  “I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I don’t. You’re a sweet and schee maedel, and I’m sure you’ll find the right man someday. Unfortunately, I don’t think that man is me.”

  “Kristina could never love you like I do.” Rosetta spoke so low, Aidan almost wasn’t sure he heard her right. “That’s why I had to break you two apart all those years ago.”

  He gasped. Surely he hadn’t heard her correctly. “What do you mean, Rosetta?”

  “I found a letter you received from Louise after you told her you weren’t interested in her. So I wrote a completely different one as if I were Louise, making it seem as if you two were in love. Then I planted the letter on Kristina’s porch so she’d think you’d dropped it. When she broke up with you, I thought I finally had my chance.”

  “You forged a letter?” Suddenly all of the pieces came together in his mind, and then something inside of him broke apart. “You had no right! Kristina and I had a future planned!”

  “No, you belonged with me! But you never noticed me. And my plan backfired because you weren’t supposed to leave. Now that you’re back, it’s my turn. I can make you froh.”

  She began counting off on her fingers. “I will keep your home, cook for you, and make a gut Amish fraa. Kristina cares more about being a midwife. She’ll always put that first.”

  “No, Rosetta. You’re wrong about everything.” Aidan’s hands clenched into fists as fury tore through his veins. “I have always cared for Kristina, and her love for helping mothers is one of the things I admire most about her. You need to get out of my buggy now. What you did was wrong, and I would never, ever choose you. Especially not now.”

  She hiccuped before a sob escaped her mouth. Then she pushed the buggy door open, jogged up the back steps, and disappeared into the house.

  * * *

  Aidan’s body vibrated with anger as he stalked into the house and found his father sitting in his favorite recliner in the family room while reading a book. He sat down across from him. “Could I talk to you, Dat?”

  “Of course.” Dat took off his reading glasses and peered over at him.

  “Where’s Mamm?”

  “Napping. What’s on your mind?”

  “I need some advice.” He explained how he took Rosetta home and learned about her deceptions. “I’m in shock. I can’t believe she broke us up. I’ve spent all of these years thinking Kristina and Lester stabbed me in the back, when really, Kristina believed she’d been betrayed by me.”

  Dat’s eyes narrowed as his brow pinched. “That’s terrible. What are you going to do?”

  Aidan leaned back in the wing chair and blew out a deep sigh. “I’m still in love with Kristina. In fact, I don’t think I ever stopped loving her.”

  “Have you told her yet?”

  “No.” Aidan rubbed at a knot in his shoulder. “I don’t know how.”

  “Pray about it. Ask God to lead you to the right words and then have faith. If it’s God’s will for you to spend your life with Kristina, he’ll lead you to her.”

  Aidan nodded as hope took root in his chest. I’m listening, God. Lead me.

  * * *

  “Kristina! Kristina!”

  “Huh?” Kristina rolled over and rubbed her eyes. It was Tuesday morning, and her bedroom was still cloaked in darkness. Her clock read 4:10. Had she dreamt that someone called her name?

  “Kristina!” Richard’s voiced echoed in the hallway before a knock sounded on her door. “Marlena’s water broke.”

  She was wide-awake in a flash. “I’ll be down in a minute.”

  She quickly dressed and put a scarf over her hair before hustling downstairs to Marlena and Richard’s bedroom. She found Marlena propped up in bed taking deep breaths.

  “Are you ready?” Kristina smiled as she touched Marlena’s arm.

  Marlena shook her head. “I don’t know, Kristina.”

  “We’ll get through this.” Then Kristina turned to Richard. “Let’s have this boppli.”

  * * *

  After a few hours of hard labor, Marlena’s baby was born. “It’s a bu!” Kristina exclaimed, taking in his tiny fingers and toes. She cleaned him off and weighed him before turning to face her sister. “Do you want to hold him?”

  But Marlena didn’t answer. Kristina came closer to her sister, whose skin seemed pale and gray. Marlena’s eyes were open, but only just.

  “Is something wrong with Marlena?” Richard said.

  “I’m not sure.” Kristina handed the baby to Richard, and she set to examining her sister. “There’s a lot of blood here—more than usual. I—I think you need to go call 911, Richard. Tell them to send an ambulance.”

  Richard’s eyes were big as plates when he placed the baby in the bassinet and sprinted out the back door toward the phone in the barn.

  “Marlena, Marlena, stay with me!” Kristina remained by her sister’s side, running a cool rag over her forehead. Was she losing consciousness? Were her breaths slowing?

  Please, God! Help my sister!

  It seemed like an eternity before the EMTs arrived. They strapped Marlena to a gurney and took her and the baby out the back door, with Kristina and Richard behind them.

  “Will you stay with the kinner?” Richard wrung his hands as they watched the EMTs load Marlena into the ambulance. “They should be waking up soon.”

  “Of course. Call me as soon as you talk to a doctor.”

  “I will,” Richard said before climbing into the back of the ambulance.

  As the ambulance sped away, Kristina dissolved into tears.

  * * *

  “I’m going to Richard’s haus today,” Aidan told his parents as he walked through the kitchen later that morning. “I’ll be back soon, and then I’ll finish the chores.”

  He’d spent the past couple of days thinking about Kristina and praying for God’s guidance, and he couldn’t wait to see her any longer. He showered, put on fresh clothes, and hurried downstairs, ready to make his way over to Kristina’s house to try to work things out between them. He longed to tell her how Rosetta had destroyed their plans all those years ago. His heartbeat surged at the idea of finally planning a future with Kristina—a real future that he wanted to start as soon as possible.

  “Please tell Kristina we said hello,” Mamm said with a grin.

  “I will.” Aidan waved. “I’ll see you later.” Then he climbed into his buggy and guided his horse toward the road.

  Please, Lord, help me find the right words to tell Kristina how I feel about her.

  Eleven

  Kristina put the girls down for a nap and then pulled her cell phone out of her pocket to check it for what felt like the hundredth time. When she found no calls or messages, she headed out to the barn, only to find there were no messages waiting for her there either. She’d spent the last few hours silently praying while she played with her nieces.

  She felt as if she was coming apart at the seams with worry for her sister. Guilt and frustration were her constant companions while she tried to figure out what she’d done wrong during the birth. What had she missed?

  She stepped out into the warm May air and stared up at the gray clouds that seemed to mirror her mood. She breathed in the scent of rain and then started to pray.

  “Please, Lord, protect Marlena. And please send me someone to talk to before I go mad.”

  She walked back up toward the porch and stopped when she heard the clip-clop of hooves and the whir of buggy wheels. She spun and rushed back down the steps to see Aidan climbing out of his buggy.

  “Is everything okay?” he asked as he stalked toward her.

  “No!”

  His face clouded with a frown. “Was iss letz?”

  “It’s Marlena.” Her voice broke. “The ambulance had to come for her.” Then with tears streaming down her face, she explained how Marlena bled too much and passed out after her son was born. “I completely botched this delivery. Aidan, what if I killed my own schweschder?”

  She sniffed and wiped at her eyes. “I’m a terrible midwife. I have no business being involved with delivering bopplin. What if I killed the only person I have left?”

  “Come here.” He pulled her into his arms, and she buried her face in his shoulder as her tears continued to fall. “I have faith in God and in you. You were right to call the ambulance right away. At the first sign of trouble, you called for help—and I’m sure the doctors are taking gut care of her.” He rubbed her back, and she felt herself relax against him. “Everything will be fine, Krissy. I’m sure of it.”

  She stepped back from him and pulled a tissue from her apron pocket to wipe her eyes and nose. “Danki.”

  He started to say something, but his words were interrupted by the ringing of her phone.

  She yanked it from her pocket and found a number she didn’t recognize on the screen. “Hello?”

  “She’s going to be okay,” Richard said, sounding drained.

  “Oh, praise God!” Kristina looked up at Aidan. “She’s going to be okay.”

  Aidan took her free hand in his.

  “The doctors managed to stop the bleeding, and now they’re giving her a blood transfusion,” Richard explained. “They’re going to keep her and the boppli overnight for observation, but we should be home soon.”

  “Oh, I’m so glad.” When happy tears began to fall, Kristina wiped her eyes again. “And the boppli is okay too?”

  “Ya, he’s great.” He gave a little laugh. “He’s healthy as a horse. Marlena wants to name him Jacob after your dat.”

  Kristina felt her eyes sting at the mention of her father. She sniffed. “Gut. I love that name.”

  “Kristina, you saved her life by telling me to call the ambulance when you did. If we had waited, the outcome could have been terrible.”

  Kristina closed her eyes. “I’m so sorry.”

  “Did you hear me? You saved her life.” Richard spoke slowly as if to make sure she understood. She heard voices in the background and then he said, “I need to go. I’ll call soon.”

  Kristina disconnected the phone and then took a deep breath. “Oh, I’m so relieved.” She slipped the phone into her apron pocket and then launched herself into Aidan’s arms. “And I’m so froh you’re here.”

  “I am too.”

  She pulled away from him, and then he leaned down and brushed his lips over hers. The contact sent her stomach fluttering with the wings of a thousand butterflies.

  When he broke the kiss, she gasped and stepped away from him, her head spinning with disorientation as her body continued to tingle.

  “I came to tell you I still love you, Krissy.”

  Her mouth dropped open. Was she dreaming?

  * * *

  Panic welled in Aidan’s chest the longer it took her to answer him. He’d just confessed his love, yet Kristina stood staring at him, mouth agape. Had he completely misread her feelings?

  “What about Rosetta?” she finally asked.

  Aidan ran his fingertip down her cheek. “We were only freinden.”

  Kristina seemed to study him with suspicion. “But you gave her a ride home after church again two days ago.”

  “That’s right, and I told her the truth about how I felt about her. Then she told me the truth about the past.”

  Kristina cocked her head. “What do you mean?”

  “You’ll never believe this, but she broke us up, Krissy. She planted that letter from Louise.” His nostrils flared as renewed anger flashed through him. “She found the real letter from Louise and then wrote a new one making it sound like I was going to break up with you. Then she left the fake letter on your porch for you to find.”