Amish Midwives Read online

“It truly feels like spring,” Aidan commented as he sank into a rocker. He breathed in the warm April air.

  “Is your dat serious about retiring?” Richard asked.

  Aidan pushed the rocker into motion. “He is.”

  “Are you ready to take over the farm?”

  “I don’t think I have much choice.”

  Richard laughed and Aidan stared out toward the driveway, hoping to see Kristina’s horse and buggy heading toward them soon.

  * * *

  Kristina yawned as she guided the horse toward her brother-in-law’s farm. It was nearly seven in the evening, and every muscle in her body ached. While she was grateful both of her deliveries had been successful, she felt like she could sleep for a week. But first, she desperately needed a shower.

  She guided the horse up the rock driveway and was surprised to see two lanterns glowing on the back porch along with the silhouette of two figures sitting on the rocking chairs.

  She led the horse to the barn and then hopped out. Richard walked over to her, the beam of his flashlight bumping along the ground while guiding his way.

  “How did it go?” Richard asked and reached for her supply bag.

  “As well as I could’ve hoped.” She cupped her hand to her mouth as a yawn overtook her.

  “You must be exhausted.” Richard nodded toward the house. “Marlena made roast beef. Go get some.”

  “Danki. There are two boxes of canned goods in the back. Would you please grab them?”

  “Of course.”

  “I appreciate it.” She took the bag from him and lifted it onto her shoulder before padding toward the porch. She stopped when she realized that the silhouette on the porch was a man. She looked over at Richard, who had begun unhitching the horse. “Do we have company?”

  “Aidan came for supper,” Richard called out to her.

  Kristina’s entire body went rigid at the sound of his name. This was the worst night for Aidan to come for supper. Not only was she too tired to be social, but she was also a mess. She needed a shower, a meal, and then a good night’s sleep.

  No, she wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone—especially not Aidan.

  Squaring her shoulders, she marched toward the house. She would be pleasant to him and then excuse herself.

  She climbed the back porch steps and found Aidan rocking in a chair. He smiled up at her. “Long day, Kristina?”

  She snorted. “I feel like I could fall over.”

  He pointed to the chair beside him. “Sit and tell me all about it. I’ll get you a drink. Have you eaten? I can get you food too.”

  “Danki, but no.” She shook her head. “I need a shower and then some sleep.”

  The storm door opened with a squeak, and Marlena peeked out. “How did it go?”

  Kristina cupped her hand to her forehead. “Anna Marie was easy, but Maranda’s took much longer. They’re all fine, though. Anna Marie had a girl, and Maranda had a bu.” She smiled as she recalled how Anna Marie and Danny had decided to name their baby after her. Oh, how blessed she was!

  “I was trying to get her to sit with me, but she insists she needs to shower and go to bed.” Aidan smiled at her again, and when his charming dimple materialized, Kristina felt a chill dance down her neck.

  Marlena pointed toward the rocking chair. “Sit, if only for a little while. I’ll bring you a piece of pie and a cup of kaffi.”

  Kristina cringed. “I really need a shower.”

  “Why don’t you take some time to relax first?” Marlena shot her a warning look. “The pie will fill you up, and the kaffi will give you some strength.” She held out her hand. “Give me your bag.”

  Kristina sighed, then handed her sister the bag. She swiped her hands down her sweater and apron, hoping she looked presentable, then sat down beside Aidan.

  “It’s a lovely night,” Aidan said.

  Kristina nodded.

  After briefly stepping indoors, Marlena returned to the porch and handed Kristina a mug of kaffi and a piece of pie. Then she winked before disappearing.

  Kristina frowned as her irritation flared. Hopefully, Marlena hadn’t invited Aidan over as a way to try to get them back together.

  She set the mug of coffee down on the small table beside her and then ate a forkful of pie.

  Butterscotch.

  It was delicious—heavenly even—but the conversation she’d overheard between Rosetta and Freda filled her mind. Had Rosetta made the pie for Aidan? Her irritation transformed into jealousy and disappointment.

  Silence stretched between them as she sipped some coffee. A breeze blew through the porch, and Kristina inhaled Aidan’s familiar scent—soap, sandalwood, and something that was just uniquely him. Why could she still recall his smell after all of these years?

  “So today has been quite busy,” Aidan finally said.

  “You could say that.” Kristina sipped more coffee.

  Aidan rested his elbows on the arm of the chair and smiled over at her. “You’re a popular midwife.”

  “I do my best.” She forked more pie, trying not to meet his eyes.

  Richard loped up the porch steps balancing the two boxes of canned goods in his arms. “The pie is gut, isn’t it?”

  Kristina nodded. “Danki for taking care of my horse and buggy and those boxes.”

  “Gern gschehne.” Richard set the boxes on the porch railing. He opened his mouth to say something just as the storm door squeaked open again.

  “Richard, I need your help in here,” Marlena said, her words measured.

  A look passed between the married couple, and Kristina pursed her lips. So her sister was playing matchmaker, and it infuriated her. Why wouldn’t Marlena just let Kristina enjoy being single?

  Richard stood up straight. “I’ll see you two later.”

  Kristina finished the pie and set the plate and fork on the table before picking up her mug.

  “Did you like the pie?” Aidan asked.

  “It was appeditlich.” Kristina studied him, her heart racing. Before she knew it, the question was falling out of her mouth. “Did Rosetta make it?”

  Nine

  Aidan’s brow puckered. “No, mei mamm made it.”

  “Oh.” She looked out toward the barn and silently prayed for God to take away her jealousy before it ate her alive.

  “Why are you asking about Rosetta?”

  She faced him again. “I heard you’re dating her.” The words tasted bitter on her tongue. “The other day after service, I heard her talking to your mamm about butterscotch pie. Then you gave her a ride home afterward.”

  To her surprise, Aidan sighed and rested his head back on the chair. “We’re just getting to know each other. And to be honest, I’m not looking for a girlfriend.”

  Feeling confused, she tilted her head and watched his expression. “Why aren’t you looking?”

  “I’m not ready to get hurt again.”

  She angled her body toward him, and they stared at each other. Her mouth dried as questions swirled in her mind. “Did Louise hurt you, Aidan?”

  “That’s part of it.” He rubbed his chin. “Louise not only changed her mind about me, but she also left me for an Englisher. It was humiliating, so I’ve only told a handful of people about it. I’m not prepared to have my heart broken like that again.”

  Kristina clasped her mug. “You didn’t cheat on her?”

  “Cheat on her?” Aidan gave a humorless laugh. “No.”

  An awkward silence filled the porch again. A car horn tooted in the distance and the low murmur of voices sounded from inside the house. Kristina’s mind continued to roar with more questions, but she couldn’t form the words to ask them.

  “Rosetta is sweet, and she even hinted that she has liked me since we were teenagers. I can tell she really cares for me. In fact, I think she might even love me.” Aidan’s voice was soft, almost reverent.

  Kristina sucked in a breath. She looked over at him and found him fiddling with a loose piece of wood on the arm of the rocking chair.

  “I’m just not ready for that kind of commitment.” He met her gaze and something unreadable flashed over his face. “I don’t feel a connection with her. She tells me everything, but I don’t feel like I can share things with her. I haven’t even told her what really happened with Louise.”

  Kristina felt a muscle flex in her jaw as she let his words sink in. Why was he confiding in her when he hadn’t yet confided in Rosetta?

  Aidan cleared his throat. “But enough about me. Why aren’t you dating?”

  Kristina looked down at her mug. “Over the years, some men have been interested in me, but I turned them down.”

  “Why?” His voice was laced with a certain eagerness, and a shiver trilled along her spine.

  She looked up, and when she met his intense stare, her blood pounded through her veins.

  “I guess I’ve stayed single for the same reason you have. I don’t want to wind up hurt. Plus, I don’t want to lose another husband the way I lost Lester.” She swallowed and licked her lips. “I’m afraid I’ll never again have a relationship like I had with him. He was kind, giving, and thoughtful. He put me first, and he took gut care of me.”

  Her hand trembled as she set her mug on the table, the desire to tell Aidan everything in her heart overcoming her. “I’m convinced I lost my chance at happiness and having a family. That dream died with Lester, so now I’m focused on helping other families grow. That’s why God gave me the gift of being a midwife.”

  He shook his head. “You’re too young to give up on love.”

  She felt her lips lift into a smile as she pointed at him. “You, sir, don’t get to say that!”

  To her surprise, he laughed, and the sound was sweet music to her ears. How she’d missed that laugh!

  “I suppose you’re right.” He folded his arms over his wide chest.

  Silence stretched between them again, but this time Kristina eased into it. She stared out toward the silhouette of the barn against the pasture and lost herself in delicate memories. She finished her coffee and then glanced over at his handsome profile, wondering if it was safe to ask him the question that had haunted her for ten years. Why had he chosen Louise over her?

  He turned toward her and cocked his head to the side. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Nothing.” She shook her head and looked back over at the barn. You’re a coward, Kristina!

  “I think about Lester often, you know. We had such great times together, especially when we went camping.”

  Kristina snorted. “Remember when we went hiking, and we all wound up with poison ivy? I was never so itchy in my life.”

  “How could I forget?” He groaned as he touched his forehead. “That was pure torture. I made sure to learn how to spot poison ivy after that trip!”

  They shared more stories of their youth, and soon she had to wipe her eyes from laughing so hard.

  “We had some gut times,” Aidan said.

  “We did.” She looked over at him, and her chest clenched. Why did you give up on me?

  “I miss those days,” Aidan said, his voice as soft as velvet. “I miss Lester.”

  Kristina nodded as she recalled the two births she’d witnessed today. The miracle of life was so wonderful and precious. She imagined it was bittersweet for parents to have the joy of watching their children grow up, get married, and start a family of their own. At least, for those who were blessed to live a full life and see their children become parents. But she and Lester never had that opportunity. She took a deep breath as her thoughts turned to Lester—his smile, his laugh, his warm hugs.

  Then grief hit her fast and hard, and she gasped as her eyes filled with tears and then spilled over. She covered her face with her hands, feeling a mix of humiliation and anguish.

  “I’m sorry.” Aidan’s voice sent a tremor straight to her bones. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  She sniffed and tried to get ahold of herself, but the tears continued to pour from her eyes. When she set her hand on the arm of the chair, Aidan covered it with his. The contact sent a spark dancing up her arm, and she pulled her hand away.

  “I’m truly sorry for your loss.”

  “Danki,” she managed to whisper, her voice raspy.

  He swallowed and then his expression seemed almost sad. “Kristina, I have to ask—why did you pick Lester over me? Was I not gut enough for you?”

  Kristina winced as if he’d struck her, and anger replaced her grief. How could Aidan say such a thing? “You’re the one who started writing another woman while we were dating.”

  He shook his head and looked incredulous. “I wrote her one letter to tell her I wasn’t interested. That’s all it was!”

  “That’s not true! I read a letter she wrote back to you, and I could tell you had chosen her over me.” Her voice sounded thin and reedy. “It was obvious from her words that she was the one you decided you wanted, even though we’d been dating for two years!”

  His eyebrows formed a V shape. “What are you talking about?”

  “I found a letter on my porch that Louise had written to you. It must have fallen out of your pocket after you visited me one night. In the letter, Louise implied you didn’t want to be with me anymore—that she wanted you to come to Ohio to meet her because you were planning to break up with me.”

  “I never said that.” His eyes narrowed. “I wrote to her and told her that I wasn’t interested in a relationship with her, and she wrote back saying she understood that I didn’t want to meet her because I loved you.”

  “You’re lying. You chose Louise over me. And I want to know why. What did I do wrong?”

  He gritted his teeth. “I never chose anyone over you. You must have imagined that because I told Louise I only wanted you.” He pointed at her.

  “Why are you lying to me after all these years? I saw the letter with my own eyes.” She stared at him as confusion and aggravation poured through her.

  Aidan looked perplexed as he gave her a palms up. “I don’t know what letter you mean. When I wrote her, I told her you and I were planning to get married. I didn’t lead her on.” Then he pointed at her. “You destroyed my heart when you broke up with me without giving me a chance to explain myself and then you started dating my best freind all because of an innocent letter.”

  She turned toward him as every cell in her body vibrated with anger. “You cheated on me.”

  “Cheated on you?” His voice rose. “How do you figure that? None of this was my fault. My cousin Fannie wanted to set me up with Louise. I told her I was froh and planning a future with you, but she gave Louise my address anyway. I only wrote Louise back to tell her that I wasn’t interested, which was all mei mamm’s idea. She told me to write her back so that I didn’t appear rude. I wanted to let her down gently. I never in a million years planned on pursuing her.”

  Kristina sniffed as more tears filled her eyes. Shaking her head in disbelief, she was unsure how to respond.

  Seeming equally as lost, Aidan’s expression fell as if his anger had fizzled out, and he looked drained. “You were everything to me.” He dropped back against the chair, the fight gone out of him. “After breaking up with me, you started dating my best freind as if I never existed. That’s why I went to Ohio. I couldn’t stand the idea of staying here and watching you build a life with Lester or any other man. I thought I could start over there and forget all of my heartache, and I thought maybe I could build a life with Louise since she had been so interested before.” He looked over at her and his eyes seemed to plead with her. “Did you even love me at all, Krissy?”

  She sucked in a breath when he called her by her nickname. “I loved you, Aidan.” I think I still do!

  “Did you love Lester?”

  She nodded and wiped at her eyes. “Ya, but I had prayed for a future with you from the time I was sixteen until you broke my heart.”

  He looked pained as they stared at each other.

  Kristina suddenly felt off balance as the past rushed back to her. Had she made a mistake when they broke up? Should she have married Aidan instead of Lester?

  Her lip trembled as she stood. She’d already been too emotional with him. She had to go inside before she made an even bigger mess.

  “It’s been a long day. It’s late, and I’m clearly very tired.”

  Aidan stood. “Me too. I should get going.”

  Kristina’s body shook with confusion as she lumbered into the kitchen and found Marlena and Richard sitting at the table. She crossed to the sink and began washing her mug, plate, and fork.

  “Danki for supper,” Aidan said from the doorway.

  “Gern gschehne,” Marlena told him. “We’re so froh you could come.”

  “Kristina,” Aidan said.

  She stopped scrubbing the plate and turned toward him.

  “I hope to see you again soon.”

  She nodded as he gave her a look that seemed to be only for her. “Be safe going home.”

  Richard stood. “I’ll walk you to your buggy.”

  “Thanks,” Aidan said.

  Kristina held her breath until the two men were gone, and then she turned to her sister, who smirked. “Were you trying to set me up with Aidan?”

  “Ya, did it work?” Marlena rubbed her hands together.

  “No!” Kristina pointed at her. “I told you I don’t want to get married again. Besides, Rosetta is interested in him.”

  Marlena shook her head. “They’re not dating.”

  “I need you to stop meddling,” Kristina worked to keep her voice calm. “We missed our chance when we broke up all those years ago. Please stop. Okay?”

  Marlena’s smile flattened. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  Then Marlena’s smile was back. “But you two were out there for a long time. Did you have a nice conversation?”

  “We did. We reminisced some.”

  “Gut.”

  “But then we discussed what happened between us, and it got confusing. We each have a different view of the past. It seemed like he truly believed what he told me, but that’s not what I remember at all. I don’t understand why he would lie to me.” She cupped her hand to her forehead as a dull throb began behind her eyes. “It’s all so jumbled up.”