Amish Midwives Read online

  Aidan looked down at the hymnal in hopes that the song leader would begin the first hymn soon. He needed a break from his confusing thoughts.

  When the service started, Aidan tried to focus on worshipping the Lord instead of on his swirling emotions. He did his best to keep his attention on the minister, but his eyes frequently roamed over to Kristina, where she spent her time whispering to her nieces, watching the ministers, or looking down at her lap. She hadn’t once looked over at him. And again he pondered why his heart seemed to long for Kristina’s attention.

  Aidan helped the other men convert the benches into tables for the noon meal when the service was over. Then he followed his father over to one of the tables and sat down beside him.

  Tommy and Richard joined them, sitting across from Aidan and his father as the women carried platters of food to the tables.

  “How are you feeling, Tommy?” Richard asked him.

  “Okay.” Tommy nodded. “Lydia Ruth stayed home with the boppli today, but she insisted I come to church.” He cupped his hand to his mouth to cover a yawn.

  Dat chuckled. “Tired, eh?”

  Tommy gave a little laugh. “Ya.”

  “A child changes everything,” Richard said.

  “That’s true.” Tommy picked up a pretzel from his plate and ate it.

  “And the changes are worth every moment,” Dat added.

  Aidan swallowed a sigh as he once again wondered if he would be destined to spend the rest of his life alone. He peered across the barn to where Kristina smiled and chatted as she filled coffee cups. He was overwhelmed with the urge to talk to her.

  But how could there be anything left to say after the way their relationship had ended?

  He dropped a pile of pretzels onto his plate and then smothered a piece of bread with peanut butter spread while Richard, Tommy, and Dat continued to talk about children. Aidan smiled and nodded, still pondering if he would always be the odd man out.

  When lunch was over, Aidan headed toward the barn exit as the women filed in to take their turn to eat. He spotted Kristina walking into the barn with Marlena, and he picked up speed, hoping to talk to her. When a hand touched his arm, he stopped.

  “Aidan.”

  He turned toward Rosetta King smiling up at him. He recalled her from school and youth group, but they hadn’t been much more than acquaintances. “Rosetta. Hi.”

  She gave him a warm smile. He’d always thought she was attractive, with her dark hair and eyes and her petite figure.

  “I’m so froh you’re finally back.” She leaned in closer. “I was wondering if I could possibly bring you a meal sometime. Would you like that?” Her expression was eager as if a negative response might shatter her. Maybe he could let her down easy.

  “I appreciate the offer, but I’m still getting settled in right now.” He kept a friendly smile on his face as he spoke, in hopes she wouldn’t feel too disappointed.

  “Maybe in a couple weeks?”

  “Sure.”

  “Wunderbaar! I look forward to it. Have a gut week.” Then she turned on her heel and headed toward a nearby table, where she scooted in and sat down.

  Aidan glanced across the barn to Kristina sitting with her sister. He’d missed his chance to talk to her, but it was just as well. He didn’t know what he would say anyway.

  Dat sidled up to Aidan when he stepped outside into the cool afternoon air. “What did Rosetta want?”

  “She asked me if she could bring a meal over sometime.”

  Dat grinned. “Sounds like you won’t have any trouble finding a girlfriend.”

  Aidan shook his head. “I don’t really know her that well, Dat. Besides, I’m not looking for a girlfriend right now.”

  “Why not?” Dat’s forehead creased. “You’re not getting any younger. Rosetta is a nice maedel. I never understood why she didn’t marry.”

  “Probably for the same reason I didn’t—because I was hurt and betrayed.”

  Dat jammed a finger in Aidan’s chest. “Which is exactly why Rosetta might be the one for you. Let her bring you a meal, and that’s how you’ll get to know her.”

  Aidan shook his head. “I’m going home. I’ll see you at the haus.”

  As he headed toward his buggy, Aidan looked back toward the barn and wondered if he would always feel awkward around his church family.

  * * *

  Kristina sat at Anna Marie Esh’s kitchen table Friday afternoon. She looked down at her journal, which included Anna Marie’s measurements and notes about her pregnancy, and then smiled up at her. “I think you’re right on track to deliver in late April. How are you feeling?”

  “Gut.” Anna Marie lifted her mug of tea. “I’m a little sore, but it’s to be expected.”

  Kristina took notes. “Are you having any contractions?”

  “Sometimes, but I had that with the other three.” She gazed over at her three sons, all under the age of six, as they scampered around the kitchen, playing with blocks and toy cars. “Hard to believe we’ll be a family of six soon.”

  Kristina smiled as she watched the three boys. Each of them had their father’s dark hair and their mother’s golden-brown eyes. Then she turned to Anna Marie. “Do you have a feeling if it’s a bu or a maedel?”

  Anna Marie laughed. “I thought each of them was a maedel, so only God knows.” She pushed her glasses up on her small nose and then grinned. “By the way . . . I saw Aidan Smoker at church on Sunday, and Greta Yoder told me he’s back for gut.”

  Kristina hoped her shrug was casual. “That’s what I heard too.”

  Anna Marie leaned across the table toward her. “Didn’t you date Aidan?”

  “I did.” Kristina looked down and wrote more notes to avoid Anna Marie’s curious expression.

  “And wasn’t he Lester’s best freind?”

  Kristina swallowed a sigh. She liked Anna Marie, but she was a bit of a gossip. She knew that anything she shared with Anna Marie would be repeated to Greta before it spread across the community like wildfire. “Ya, he was.”

  “Whatever happened between you and Aidan?”

  Kristina fastened a bright smile on her face. “We broke up.”

  “And then you married Lester.”

  “Right.” Kristina looked down at her journal. “Should we schedule our next appointment?”

  “Do you think you and Aidan will get back together? After all, you’re both still single, and you’re young enough to get married and have a family.”

  Kristina clutched her pen with such a force she was almost certain she’d break it in half and send ink spewing across the table. Perhaps this was what all of the women had been gossiping about since they saw Aidan at church on Sunday. Irritation filtered through her.

  She silently counted to five and then looked up at Anna Marie’s eager grin. “No, I don’t think so.”

  “Why not? He is awfully handsome, and I’m sure you’d like to have a family of your own instead of only delivering bopplin for everyone else.”

  Kristina leveled her gaze with Anna Marie. “I’m very froh with my job and my life. And Lester gave me enough love to last a lifetime.”

  Anna Marie lifted a suspicious eyebrow. She opened her mouth to say something, but Kristina cut her off.

  “How about I come back a week from Friday?”

  “Ya, that sounds gut.” Anna Marie pushed herself away from the table and walked slowly toward her calendar hanging on the wall. She picked up a pen and then made note of the appointment while rubbing her protruding belly with her free hand. “Same time?” she asked over her shoulder.

  “Ya, that works for me.” Kristina wrote the appointment down before stowing her journal and her planner in her tote bag.

  Then Anna Marie faced her and smiled again. “So, about Aidan. Greta and I were discussing how wunderbaar it would be if you and Aidan mended fences and got back together.”

  Kristina opened her mouth to protest just as a crash sounded, followed by a screech and a sob. r />
  “Ach, Saul.” Anna Marie hurried over to the toddler who had fallen down onto a pile of blocks. His bruders gathered around him, their eyes filling with tears as they watched Anna Marie pick up the sobbing boy and console him.

  “You’re fine.” Anna Marie looked down at his hands and feet and then said, “No scratches. No cuts. You just fell down and went boom.” Saul snuggled against his mother, rubbing his face into her neck as he continued to cry.

  Kristina smiled at the tenderness. How she loved watching mothers with their babies. If only she could experience that too.

  She stood, pulled on her sweater, and lifted her bag onto her shoulder. She gave Anna Marie a wave. “I’ll see you soon.” Then she headed for the door.

  “Kristina,” Anna Marie called.

  “Ya?” Kristina glanced back.

  “Give Aidan a chance,” she said while rubbing a sniffling Saul’s back. “You might be glad you did.”

  Kristina nodded and then wrenched open the door.

  Four

  Kristina retrieved her grocery list from her apron pocket and then guided her horse down Anna Marie’s driveway and toward the road. She tried in vain to erase Anna Marie’s comments about Aidan from her mind as she focused on the road ahead. Still, her instructions to give Aidan a chance burned a little, and her mind latched on to it.

  But why should she give Aidan a chance? And what did Anna Marie mean exactly? After all, he picked his pen pal in Ohio over Kristina. His choice had been clear, and he’d left Kristina behind without a glance backward.

  And Lester.

  Kristina swallowed back her threatening grief as their little one-story, brick house came into view at the end of Anna Marie’s road. She halted the horse and stared over at the home she and Lester had bought shortly after they were married eight years ago. With its three little bedrooms, one-and-a-half bathrooms, small kitchen, and small family room, it wasn’t extravagant, but it was Kristina and Lester’s world where they had planned to build a life.

  She wiped at her stinging eyes as she recalled how Lester had borrowed money from his parents to not only buy the house but also to start his own roofing business.

  They struggled financially in the beginning, but they kept praying the business would take off. And after two years, it did. Lester not only had plenty of clients, but he also had three crews working for him.

  Soon they found themselves living a comfortable life, but one thing was missing—children. They had prayed and prayed, and she held on to the hope that God would bless them in his time.

  But she never had the opportunity to be a mother.

  And then four years ago, she lost everything.

  Kristina squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block out the memories of the day her world had completely fallen apart.

  Sitting up straight, she directed the horse back onto the road and toward the grocery in Bird-in-Hand. She tied her horse up in the parking lot beside a row of horses and buggies. Then, holding her list, she walked into the store, found a shopping cart, and began moving through the aisles. Once her cart was full and her items were crossed off her list, she headed toward the row of cashiers.

  “Kristina.”

  Turning, she froze when she found Aidan watching her while leaning on a shopping cart. She took in his warm smile and adorable dimple, and a strange flutter started in her stomach.

  For a brief moment she found herself comparing Aidan with Lester. Both Aidan and Lester were tall, but Aidan was slightly taller than her late husband. And while Lester was blessed with sandy-blond hair and light-blue eyes, Aidan’s dark hair was a stark contrast to his eyes that somehow looked bluer today—or maybe it was due to the fluorescent lights buzzing above them.

  Lester seemed to always have an easy smile and silly joke for her. In fact, Kristina could probably count on one hand the times that Lester had been sad, worried, angry, or upset. Yet Aidan was serious and intense. He reminded her of a blazing fire while Lester was a warm, sunny day.

  And now Aidan stood in front of her, watching her with those intense eyes. Her throat dried.

  “I didn’t mean to startle you.” He stood up to his full height as he pointed to her shopping cart. “I see you’re shopping too.”

  “Ya. I . . . I guess that’s what one does in a grocery store.” She moved her cart out of the way as a young Amish mother with three children walked past them.

  Color rose to his cheeks. “I suppose you’re right about that. All the same, I had to run out for some supplies, so mei mamm gave me her shopping list.” He held up a small, lined piece of paper. “She always has her list.”

  “Ya.” Kristina grasped the cart and glanced toward the cashiers.

  Aidan cleared his throat. “I had hoped to talk to you at church, but I couldn’t get to you before you started eating lunch.”

  “I’m sure you were busy getting caught up with some folks.” She felt her shoulders tense as she recalled how Rosetta had caught his ear. And why should she care? She wasn’t jealous of Rosetta. Or was she?

  He gave a little laugh and then rubbed his clean-shaven chin. “Everyone wanted to know why I’ve come back.”

  Kristina looked toward the cashiers and spotted an open line. “I should really get going. It was nice—”

  “Wait.” He held his hand up, and she stilled. “Have you had lunch?”

  She blinked and then looked toward the clock on the wall. It was after one. “No, I haven’t.”

  “Do you want to grab something? My treat.” His eyes were wide and hopeful, which confused her.

  She pursed her lips as Anna Marie’s words echoed in her mind: give Aidan a chance.

  If she gave Aidan another chance, perhaps they could be friends again. At the least, maybe they could work things out to the point where seeing each other at church or around the community wouldn’t be so awkward. Maybe then the rumors would stop.

  “Okay,” she heard herself say.

  “Great.” He looked relieved. Then he pointed to the items in her cart. “Your groceries will be okay?”

  “Ya. I keep a cooler in my buggy so that I can stow my groceries when I meet with clients.”

  He nodded and seemed intrigued.

  “Well, let’s go pay.” She pushed her cart toward the cashier, and he followed close behind her.

  They reached the register, and he walked around his cart and began helping her load her items onto the conveyor. When she peeked up at him, she found him smiling at her, and she felt her heart come to life for the first time since she’d lost Lester.

  And at that moment, she knew her heart was doomed.

  * * *

  Aidan sat down in a booth across from Kristina at the Bird-in-Hand Family Restaurant. He picked up his menu and tried to force his eyes to read it, but they kept defying him and darting toward Kristina.

  He still couldn’t believe she had agreed to have lunch with him. He’d detected the hesitation in her eyes, and when her forehead puckered, he was certain she was debating her answer. He’d seen that puzzled expression hundreds of times when they were a couple.

  But now her expression seemed relaxed as her bright-blue eyes focused on the menu. He once again felt transported back in time. They had frequented this restaurant, as well as many others, with friends and alone.

  And now he felt awkward and out of place sitting with her. Would that feeling ever go away?

  “I think I’ll have the tuna melt,” she suddenly said. “How about you?” She looked up at him.

  “Oh. I haven’t looked yet.” He opened the menu.

  “You used to always get the Bird-in-Hand Club.”

  His eyes flitted to hers, and she bit her lip. “You remember that?”

  “Why would I forget?” Her expression almost seemed to challenge him, and his pulse ticked up. “I remember everything.”

  “I do too.” He blew out a puff of air and considered asking her why she’d felt the need to dump him without any explanation, but he bit back the retort. Righ
t now, his goal was to get her to talk to him, not make her want to flee. He recalled how stubborn and set in her ways she was. He had to tread lightly to compel her to open up to him. So he smiled. “The club sounds like a great choice.”

  A young woman who looked to be in her early twenties stopped by for their orders and then took the menus before disappearing again.

  Once she was gone, Kristina folded her hands on the table and looked over at him.

  “So, you’ve been working as a midwife for about four years now, right?” Aidan asked.

  “Three, actually.” She held up three fingers. “The first boppli I delivered was my niece.”

  “Was that planned?”

  “No.” She gave a little laugh and shook her head, causing the ties to her kapp to bounce off her slight shoulders. “Katy decided to come in the middle of a snowstorm, and we had no choice but to deliver her before the ambulance arrived.”

  “That had to be scary.”

  “Yes and no.” She tilted her head. “I was naerfich, but I just sort of knew what to do. You might not believe it, but I felt as if God were guiding me. I stayed calm, and somehow kept Marlena and Richard calm too. When the EMTs arrived, they told me I’d done a great job. Then I had an epiphany that I should keep working as a midwife since many Amish women prefer to give birth at home when they can. I started studying all of the books I could find along with working with another midwife who doesn’t live too far from here. Since I’m not a professional, I just help women when it’s possible. If I know the expectant mother is high-risk, or if something goes wrong, I try to help the family prepare for the hospital or a birthing center.”

  He grinned. “I never imagined you would become a midwife. What do you like about it?”

  She looked down at the wooden tabletop and absently drew circles with her finger. “I love helping mothers and babies. I feel as if it’s my gift, and it’s also my way to contribute to the household. My clients barter with fruits and vegetables they’ve canned or by doing my sewing. They can’t pay me with money since I’m not a professional midwife, but I share my earnings with Marlena and her family.”

  He nodded, fascinated with this new side of her. “That’s great.”