The Courtship Basket Page 6

  “When I’m not caring for my dat, I’m trying to be a mamm and a dat to mei bruder. I read stories to him at night and try to come up with answers when he asks me why he doesn’t have a dat who can walk or why his mamm died.”

  Rachel gasped as tears pricked her eyes. “Mike, I—”

  “Wait.” Mike held up his hand to quiet her. “I’m not done. You want to know if John gets enough attention at home?” He nearly spat the bitter words at her. “Well, maybe he doesn’t get enough attention. Maybe I should spend more time with him, asking him how he feels about not having a mamm and living with a dat who can’t play games outside and help us with our chores. All I can tell you is I do the best I can. I try to show him I love him and that our dat loves him. Maybe I’m distracted, and maybe I’m too busy, but I am only one person trying to carry the load for three of us.” He held up three fingers. “I’m under a whole lot of pressure, more than most men my age.”

  Rachel cleared her throat in hopes of alleviating the lump that swelled there. She longed to take back her accusations and heated words, but her shame stole her speech as she stared up at him.

  “So when you ask me why I haven’t responded to your notes,” Mike continued, his expression impassive, “the truth is I’ve forgotten to because I’ve been busy.” He snatched the journal from her hand and held it up in front of her. “The reason why my one note was so short was because I was so exhausted I couldn’t think of what to say. My cousin said the note would upset you, but I was honestly too worn out to be concerned about it.”

  Rachel wiped away a tear with her trembling hand. “I had no idea you had so much to deal with.” Her voice was soft and shaky. “I didn’t realize how difficult your situation was.”

  “I imagine you didn’t.” He handed her the journal and started for the door to the shop. “I’ll be sure to write you notes now. You don’t need to come see me again.” He stopped in front of the door. “And if I want to talk to a teacher, I’ll call Malinda. Or maybe I should call the school board chairman and tell him about our little chat today.”

  Rachel’s stomach pitched. “Mike, please don’t do that,” she said, but he had already disappeared through the door to the shop, and the door slammed shut in her face. She squared her shoulders and cleared her throat again before stepping into the showroom. She gave the young man at the counter a half wave and then marched out to the van. She wondered if Mike would call the school board chairman. And if he did call, would she lose her job after only one short week of teaching?

  Rachel climbed into the passenger seat of the van as worry and regret weighed heavily on her shoulders. She’d made a terrible mistake.

  “Is everything all right?” Charlotte asked as she looked over from the driver’s seat.

  “Everything is fine. Danki.” Rachel forced a smile as she sagged into the worn, gray cloth seat and hugged her sweater over her chest. “I’m just ready to go home.”

  As the van motored out onto Old Philadelphia Pike, Rachel reflected on Mike’s sad story about his parents. She had no right to confront him and accuse him of not properly caring for his brother. She yearned to take back her thoughtless words and tell him how sorry she was to hear he had so many burdens to overcome. She never should have allowed her stubbornness to overrule her good judgment. Now she’d managed to hurt Mike Lantz’s feelings and possibly lose her job.

  His angry words and his threat to call the school chairman echoed through her mind as she gripped the journal in her sweaty hands.

  She had made a mess of things, and now she had to face the consequences.

  CHAPTER 5

  ANGER PUNCHED MIKE IN THE GUT AS HE MADE HIS WAY BACK to his work stall, where the two wooden lighthouses sat awaiting the final coat of clear stain. He approached a can of stain and kicked it with all his might, sending searing pain radiating through his right foot. He grumbled under his breath and hopped over to a stool, where he sat down and closed his eyes. The pain subsided to a dull throb as he pondered the thoughtless and insensitive accusations Rachel had fabricated about him and how he was raising John. How dare she judge him when she knew nothing about his situation?

  “Mike?” His cousin Samuel appeared beside him. “Are you all right?”

  “Ya.” Mike opened his eyes and nodded. “I hurt my foot.”

  “Oh.” Sam grinned and jammed a thumb toward the front of the store. “Who was that maedel?”

  “John’s teacher.” Mike frowned.

  “Really? She’s his teacher?” Sam rubbed his beard. “Are you seeing her?”

  “Am I seeing her? Do you mean dating her?” Mike asked, and Sam nodded. “No. I’ve told you a million times I don’t have time to date. Even if I had the time, I certainly wouldn’t date her.”

  “Why not?” Sam looked incredulous. “She’s schee.”

  “She may be schee, but she’s not my type at all.” Mike stood and limped over to the lighthouses. “I need to get back to work.”

  “Are you limping?” Sam asked. “Did you get angry and kick something again? Is that why that can has a dent in it?”

  “No.” Mike grumbled as he picked up the can of stain and placed it on his workbench.

  “What’s going on?” Sam asked, raising a curious eyebrow. “Did something happen when you talked to Rachel?”

  Mike sighed. Since he and Sam had grown up together, they’d always been best friends. No one knew Mike as well as Sam did. “I suppose you could say Rachel and I had an argument.”

  “What did you and John’s teacher argue about?” Sam asked with surprise. “Did John do something and get in trouble? You’ve mentioned he’s been having a tough time lately.”

  “Ya, that’s what happened.” Mike sat down on the stool across from Sam and shared the conversation while his cousin listened with his eyes wide. “I told her I’m doing the best I can, but that didn’t seem to be gut enough for her. I really don’t know what else I can do. I’m the one carrying the load for the family. I sent John to the special school hoping the teachers there could give him the extra help he needs, but they’re blaming me for not giving him enough attention at home.”

  Fury exploded through Mike once again. “What else can I do for him? I’m already trying to be both mamm and dat to him. Isn’t it the teacher’s job to teach him how to read and write? Isn’t it her job to teach him math? Don’t we pay the teachers to do that for us?”

  “All right, Mike,” Sam said slowly while motioning for him to calm down. “You need to just relax. It’s going to be fine.”

  Mike shoved his hand through his hair. “I just don’t know what else to do, Sam. I’m already exhausted from sleeping on the sofa so I can be close-by if mei dat needs me. I don’t want him to fall again.”

  “Your dat is falling now?” Sam looked concerned, and Mike nodded. “You didn’t tell me that.”

  “I was going to.” Mike scowled. “I’ve just been preoccupied with everything. Now I have to worry about his teacher being upset with me.”

  “She came here to see you about an issue with John without going through the school board chairman?” Sam asked, and Mike nodded. “Isn’t that against the rules?”

  “Ya, it is.” He shook his head as he gripped both of his suspenders. “I told her I might call the school board chairman and tell him about our conversation.”

  “Are you going to call him?” Sam asked.

  “Probably not.” Mike blew out a frustrated sigh. “I just don’t understand who she thinks she is to judge me. I’m doing the best I can to take care of mei dat and John.”

  “You’re doing great,” Sam insisted. “You’re actually working too hard.”

  “Too hard?” Mike asked. “Why am I working too hard? I have to do my part to make sure we keep up with the orders. It’s our busy season.”

  “But if you feel like you need to be home more, then you should go,” Sam said. “If you think John needs more attention, then maybe you should go home earlier.”

  “No.” Mike shook hi
s head. “Mei dat wants me to make sure the business keeps going, so I need to be here. We don’t expect you and your dat to take up all the slack.”

  Sam gave him a wry smile. “You’re still as stubborn as you were when we were six years old and you refused to stop fishing in the lake until we caught at least three fish. You didn’t even care we were late for supper and you’d get a whooping for staying out too long.”

  “What’s your point?” Mike asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “My point is, we’re family, and we’re here to help you. If you need Marie and Janie to stay overnight at the haus to help with your dat so you can get more sleep, then let them know. They’ll be froh to do that. All you have to do is ask.”

  “That’s not necessary.” A yawn overtook Mike’s words. He rubbed his eyes and then limped over to the awaiting lighthouses. He had to keep busy to work off his frustration. “I need to get back to work.”

  “All right.” Sam stood and smacked Mike on the back. “You know, you could ask Marie and Janie to work with John too.”

  “What do you mean?” He looked back at his cousin.

  “Marie and Janie could give John some extra help when he gets home from school every day. They could talk to him about how to behave in school and help him with his reading and math.” Sam shrugged. “It’s just an idea. They could get the teachers to stop complaining about him, and it would make things less stressful for you.”

  Mike shook his head. “Danki, but I don’t think it’s necessary. I believe John will adjust to school, but he needs more than a week to do it. Rachel is just being unreasonable.”

  “Fine.” Sam shrugged. “I just thought it might be a gut idea.” He started for the door. “I’d better get back out to the showroom. I’ll see you later.”

  Guilt shoved away Mike’s rage, and he regretted complaining to his cousin. Sam had been his rock and closest confidant since Dat had become ill.

  “Sam,” he called, and his cousin spun around. “How’s Mandy doing?” Mandy was Sam’s wife, who was pregnant with their first child.

  “She’s gut.” Sam beamed as he always did when he spoke of his wife. “She’s complained very little, even though she looks pretty worn out. It’s difficult to believe the boppli will be here in less than four months. It’s gone so quickly. Life as we know it is going to be changed forever.”

  “Ya,” Mike said, a smile stealing his frown. “But it’s a wunderbaar kind of change.”

  “That’s true.” Sam grinned. “I can’t wait to see if it’s a bu or a maedel. But we’ll be froh no matter what God chooses to bless us with.”

  Mike nodded. He was happy for Sam and Mandy. They had met through the youth group when they were sixteen and married when they turned twenty, and now, four years later, they were expecting their first child. They had everything Mike had always wanted—a loving marriage, a small house to call their own, and now a growing family. Mike pushed away the twinge of jealousy that teased him. He had no right to long for those things when he had his father and his brother to look after. His focus should be on them, not his own needs.

  Sam’s smile transformed to an expression of concern. “You do realize you have a right to be froh also. You’re permitted to date if you meet the right person.”

  Mike shook his head. Sam just didn’t get it sometimes.

  “What?” Sam’s expression challenged Mike. “You’re looking at me as if to say I’m narrisch.”

  “All right.” Mike slouched against the workbench behind him. “I’ll answer that. Sam, I know you mean well, but you are narrisch. How am I supposed to date when I can’t leave mei dat and bruder alone at night? How am I supposed to go visit a maedel, if I even meet one who would be interested in me?”

  “Why wouldn’t a maedel be interested in you?”

  “I think that question has an obvious answer. I’m raising mei bruder and caring for my chronically ill dat. What maedel in her right mind would want to date me when she knows she’d have to help me do that?”

  He lifted a paintbrush from the workbench and pointed it for emphasis as he spoke. “You know the answer as well as I do. No maedel would choose to have a ready-made family and responsibilities like that. All the maed I know want to get married and raise their own babies.” He opened the can of stain, and the pungent odor stifled the air around them. “That’s why I’m alone. I don’t have time for any maedel, and there isn’t anyone who’d want to be with me anyway.”

  “That’s not true.” Sam frowned. “You just haven’t found the right maedel yet.”

  “She doesn’t exist,” Mike muttered as he pulled on his respirator.

  Sam stared at him for a moment, his expression incredulous.

  “Go back to work,” Mike ordered, his voice muffled by the mask.

  As Sam walked away, Mike shook his head. He longed to have a family of his own, but he was called to care for his father and brother. It was best this way, and any thoughts of finding a wife were wasted dreams.

  MIKE STOOD IN THE DOORWAY OF JOHN’S ROOM LATER THAT evening and found him leaning against the headboard of his bed and staring at a book. Mike studied him for a moment, wondering if John could read better than he’d let on at school. When his brother didn’t turn the page, he realized John most likely couldn’t read at all.

  “Hi, Johnny,” Mike said, causing his brother to jump with a start.

  “I didn’t know you were standing there.” John placed the book beside him. “You just got home?”

  “Ya, I did.” Mike frowned as a pang of guilt rang through him. “I didn’t realize how late it was until I finished my last project. I’m sorry I missed eating supper with you.”

  “It’s okay.” John smiled. “I know you have to work.”

  Mike was thankful for John’s understanding, but it did little to lessen the guilt he felt. “What are you reading?” He sat down on the corner of the bed.

  John held up the book. “I was just looking at it.”

  “Do you want me to read it to you?” Mike offered.

  John shook his head. “No, it’s okay. You look tired.”

  “I’m never too tired for you.” Mike touched John’s little arm as he recalled his frustrating conversation with Rachel earlier in the day. “How was school today?”

  John averted his eyes by studying the cover of the book. “School was gut.”

  “Is there anything you want to tell me?” Mike gently prodded.

  John met his eyes with a frown. “I don’t like school. I don’t want to listen and follow the rules. I don’t want to make freinden or read.” His voice was thick with emotion. “I just want to stay home and help you and Dat. Or maybe if I came to work with you, then you wouldn’t have to work so late.”

  So that’s it. John still wants to stay home and help us instead of going to school.

  Mike swallowed a sigh. Maybe what Rachel had said earlier was correct. Maybe John was acting out because he wasn’t getting enough attention at home. Maybe Mike needed to do a better job of parenting him. Maybe Mike wasn’t a good example for him. Should he ask Janie and Marie to stay over and serve as John’s mother? But Janie and Marie had their own lives. They both were active in their youth group, and they had their own chores to do at home as well.

  Confusion simmered inside Mike as he watched John fidget with the quilt on his bed. How could Mike be a good parent to John when he didn’t really know what he was doing? His parents had been good to Mike when he was John’s age, but the situation was different when he was little. Both of his parents were healthy. His mother was home caring for the house while his father was building lawn ornaments. It all changed when his mother died in an accident when Mike was ten. She was hit by a speeding car as she walked to a friend’s house one afternoon while Mike was in school. Mike had witnessed Dat’s going through the motions of life without Mamm. Dat tried to hide his sadness, but Mike sometimes found him crying in the barn.

  Everything changed again five years later when Dat met V
era. After dating for nearly a year, they were married. Vera was kind and soft-spoken, and she treated Mike like her own son. Mike was certain their family was going to be complete, and he was thrilled when Vera was going to give him a sibling. But tragedy struck his family again when Vera died giving birth to John. Dat had lost his new fraa, and Mike had lost his new stepmother. And now, instead of only being a big brother to John, Mike also had to serve as a parent to John, and he was lost without his stepmother’s guidance.

  “Did you take your bath?” Mike asked.

  “Ya.” John nodded with emphasis. “I also brushed my teeth.”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to read to you tonight?”

  “No, not tonight. I’m too tired.” John yawned as he scooted under the covers. “Maybe you can read to me tomorrow night.” Mike took the book from beside John and placed it on his bookshelf.

  “That sounds like a gut idea.” Mike kissed John’s head. “Do you want to pray together?”

  “Ya,” John said before folding his hands and squeezing his eyes shut. “God, please bless our family and please make Dat feel better soon. Amen.” When he opened his eyes, he yawned again. “Gut nacht, Mike.”

  “Gut nacht, Johnny.”

  As Mike descended the stairs, he reflected on his conversation with Rachel again. He couldn’t stop thinking about her accusations, but he also began to reevaluate his response to her. Had he lost his temper too quickly? Had he been too outspoken? Was he out of line when he’d lectured her about all the stress in his life? What would Dat say if he knew how he’d spoken to Rachel? Mike grimaced. Dat had taught him respect, and he was supposed to be humble when he spoke to others.

  Mike was aware of his short temper and his stubbornness, and both had overtaken him today. Rachel had gotten under his skin. After considering her words, he agreed she had valid points, but he didn’t know how to address the issues.

  As he stepped into the family room, Mike found Dat sitting in his recliner and perusing the Budget. Dat’s hands shook slightly as he held the paper. Mike took in his gaunt face, slim frame, and bony arms and hands. He looked to be nearly half the size he’d been before he was diagnosed with kidney disease. The illness seemed to be consuming his father and leaving a shell of who he once was in his place.