Winter Blessings Read online

  He did his best to push thoughts of Mandy out of his head as he began to muck the horse stalls, but her gorgeous smile crept back in. The muscles in his arms and back burned as he worked harder and harder, trying to erase her from his mind’s eye. But she lingered there, taunting him as he raked with all his strength.

  “You’re going to break that pitchfork in half.”

  Ephraim turned and found his father standing at the end of the stall. He leaned the pitchfork against the wall and swiped his sleeve over his sweaty brow.

  “How are you?” Dat’s dark eyes seemed to study him.

  “I’m okay.” Ephraim shrugged and picked up the pitchfork again. “I have a lot of work to do.”

  “Do you miss her?” Dat’s question caught him off guard.

  Ephraim froze. Was it that obvious? He returned to work in hopes his father would walk away.

  “If you do, maybe you should try talking to her.”

  Ephraim stopped working and looked at his father. “I’ve tried talking to her, but we want different things.”

  “That’s the thing about marriage,” Dat began as he leaned on the stall door. “It only works if you compromise.”

  “We’re not married.” Ephraim shook his head.

  “And you never will be if you don’t start thinking like a couple.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “When you marry, you become one, but you can’t behave as if you’re not. Take a step back and think about her point of view. Be careful not to jump to any conclusions about her intentions. Your mamm told me you’re afraid Mandy doesn’t want to be a farmer’s fraa. You could be completely wrong about that. Don’t fall into the trap of projecting your insecurities onto her. You need to talk this out.”

  Dat tapped the stall door. “Let me know if you want to talk more about it.”

  Ephraim watched his father walk away as his words marinated in his mind. Maybe he had misinterpreted Mandy’s reasons for suggesting they change their plans. He did owe it to her to try to talk this out, but what if her words just hurt him more? He was still reeling from their last discussion.

  His father made it sound so easy, but how could Ephraim even consider just walking away from his family’s legacy and starting a new life when it felt so wrong?

  Still, he couldn’t deny that he missed Mandy, and as much as he tried, he couldn’t erase her beautiful face from his mind.

  Mandy searched her bedroom as panic dug into her shoulders. Where was her purse? She’d seen it just last night, but it wasn’t on her dresser where she always left it. She looked on the floor, under her bed, and on her windowsill. Had she left it downstairs somewhere?

  She stepped out into the hallway and into the sewing room, where she spotted her purse on the sewing table. She didn’t even recall walking in here yesterday. When she crossed the room and picked up her purse, her eyes focused on the half-finished, baby-blue dress on the table. She froze, cemented in place.

  Her wedding dress.

  Tears stung her eyes as she ran her fingers over the material. Beside it was a bolt of material to make the dress for Rhoda.

  But now the dresses would never be finished. The wedding would never happen.

  Mandy wiped away a tear. How she missed Ephraim. She missed his smile, his boisterous laugh, their long talks, their friendship.

  “Is there anything I can do to fix it?” She whispered the question as if someone would answer.

  Then an idea sparked in her brain. What if she took his favorite cookies—peanut butter—to Emma’s today? If he came, she could use them to try to encourage him to talk to her. She’d baked some last night. Baking seemed to be her only solace during this unending and unbearable heartbreak.

  Had she subconsciously made the peanut butter cookies because she missed him? Probably.

  “Mandy!” Mamm’s voice sounded from downstairs. “Katie Ann is here!”

  “Coming!” Mandy touched the dress one last time, and then she hurried down to the kitchen, where she said hello to her friend.

  After she grabbed the container of peanut butter cookies and put on her coat, she and Katie Ann stepped outside and she climbed into the back of Chris’s buggy.

  “Danki for picking me up,” Mandy told Chris after she was settled.

  “Gern gschehne,” Chris said.

  Katie Ann turned around and pointed to the container. “What are those?”

  “Kichlin.”

  “What kind?”

  “Peanut butter.”

  “Oh. Are they for mei bruder?”

  “Maybe.” Mandy tried to sound casual. “How is he?”

  “Grumpy and mopey.” Katie Ann rolled her eyes. “It’s so obvious he misses you. If he wasn’t so stubborn, you’d be back together already.”

  Mandy hugged the cookies to her chest. Would they be enough to encourage him to talk through their problems so they could work out a compromise?

  “How are you doing, Mandy?” Chris asked.

  “I’m getting by. I’m baking a lot.” Mandy ran her fingers over the top of the container. “Mei mamm said we should open a bake stand at the haus.” She gave a little laugh, but it didn’t warm her troubled soul.

  “Don’t give up on Ephraim, okay?” Chris asked.

  Mandy nodded.

  “We’re all working on him,” Chris continued.

  “You are?” Mandy leaned forward. “What do you mean?”

  “Just trust us.” Katie Ann smiled at her.

  Ephraim leaned on Emma’s fence as Jerry told him and Wayne about a plumbing job at a rich Englisher’s house. When a horse and buggy appeared in the driveway, Ephraim stood up straight, and his pulse picked up.

  Chris and Katie Ann climbed out, and then Mandy did before turning and removing a large container from the back seat. As she and Katie Ann walked toward the house, Ephraim admired her from afar. He’d always enjoyed seeing her in blue.

  Mandy turned toward him, smiled, and lifted her hand in a wave. His heartbeat thumped as he returned the gesture before she disappeared into the house.

  “Why don’t you go talk to her instead of staring at her like a stalker?” Wayne gave Ephraim a shove.

  “Why don’t you mind your own business?”

  “Who are you trying to kid?” Jerry chimed in. “You still love her, and you miss her. So why are you standing here with us?”

  Ephraim scowled. “Why don’t you worry about your own relationship?”

  “Give it a rest, Blank,” Chris added as he came to stand with the rest of them. “Just go talk to Mandy. We’re all tired of your moods.”

  Ephraim divided a look among his friends as they all pointed toward the house. He hated to admit it, but maybe they were right. Perhaps it was time to talk through their problems. “Fine.”

  They applauded as he walked toward the house, and Ephraim rolled his eyes. Despite the cold weather, his hands began to sweat. What if Mandy refused to talk to him? But she’d waved and smiled at him just now, so that was a good sign. She must still care for him.

  Ephraim squared his shoulders as he entered the kitchen, where Mandy stood with Clara and Tena. Her friends turned to look at him, and their eyes rounded.

  “Tena,” Clara said, “why don’t we set up the stand?” They both gripped the handles of two big bags of apples.

  “Gut idea.” Tena hurried out the back door with Clara close behind.

  He glanced at the table, where Katie Ann and Emma weren’t even pretending they weren’t watching him. Mandy picked up the container he’d seen her carrying and held it up to him. “I brought peanut butter kichlin.”

  “You did?” Warmth filled his chest as he walked over to her.

  Mandy nodded. “Your favorite.”

  “Do you mean you made them for me?”

  “Ya, I guess so.” She removed the lid. “Try one.”

  “Danki.” He took a cookie, and when their hands brushed, he felt electricity spark in the air around them. It suddenly felt as if they we
re the only two people in the room. He lost himself in the depth of her blue eyes as he bit into the cookie and savored the sweet peanut-buttery taste.

  “Do you like them?” Mandy’s expression seemed hopeful.

  He nodded as he swallowed. “Ya, I do. Can we talk?” He heard the thread of hope in his voice.

  Her eyes glistened, and she nodded toward the doorway. “Let’s go into the schtupp.”

  Mandy set the container of cookies on the counter, and she and Katie Ann shared a knowing look before they headed out of the room. Were Mandy and his younger sister planning something? The thought sent suspicion curling through him.

  He followed Mandy into the family room, where Hank slept curled up in a ball on what used to be Henry’s chair. Ephraim shook his head at the cat and then sat down on the sofa.

  Mandy lowered herself into a chair across from him. “How’s your family?”

  “Okay.” Ephraim shrugged. “I guess we’re all getting used to each other. I have to make a strategic plan to get into the bathroom first in the morning.” He gave her a sheepish grin, and she laughed. How he’d missed that sweet lilt. “How are you?”

  “I’m surviving.” She folded her hands in her lap. “I miss you. I miss us.”

  “Can’t we make this work?” He leaned forward. “We could still get married in December.”

  Her expression changed. She’d seemed so open, but now she looked . . . determined.

  “No. December is still too soon. I walked into the sewing room this morning, and I saw my wedding dress. It’s not even half done. I’ve been telling you I don’t have time. Why won’t you believe me?”

  “I’ll get you help. And mei dat thinks Darlene and her family will be in their haus by late spring. The haus would be crowded only for a few months.”

  “Ephraim, you’re not listening to me.”

  All his hope dissolved as he stared at her. “So you miss me, but you’re not willing to compromise?”

  She pointed to her chest. “I’m not willing to compromise?” Then she pointed at him. “No, you’re the one who isn’t willing to compromise. You’re just saying we should follow through with the original plan. You won’t even consider how I feel and my proposals for our future. You’re the one who’s stubborn and stuck on only one plan.”

  He stood. She didn’t love him. At least not enough. “This is a waste of time.”

  “Really, Ephraim?” She stood and jammed her hands on her small hips. “That’s how you see me? I’m a waste of time? Do you even love me?”

  “Does it matter?” he said, challenging her.

  “Ya, it does matter.” She lifted her chin. “I want to marry you and build a life together, but you’re too obstinate to even consider delaying the wedding, let alone my other suggestions. This can never work if you don’t respect my opinions.”

  He stared at her as his father’s words echoed in his mind. Was she right? Did he have to bend to her for their relationship to work?

  But Ephraim was a farmer. He came from a line of farmers. How could he abandon his heritage for her? And he still thought delaying the wedding was her way of letting him know she wasn’t sure they were right for each other, even if she didn’t realize it. Even if she said she loved him.

  “Forget it.” He waved her off and marched out the front door, the muscles in his back aching with growing frustration, his heart breaking again.

  Mandy wilted as Ephraim stalked out of the house.

  Meow?

  Hank stood on his back legs and rested his front paws on her thigh. She wiped away her tears. “He’s incorrigible, Hank. I have to face the fact that it’s over.” She rubbed the cat’s chin, and he responded with a purr.

  But was it truly all Ephraim’s fault? She’d been so incensed when he asked her to stick with the original plan that she hadn’t even asked him why he’d been so upset. She hadn’t followed Emma’s or her parents’ suggestions of listening to him and then respecting his opinion. Maybe he wasn’t the only one to blame for their problems.

  “Don’t say it’s over.” Katie Ann’s expression was fierce as she stood in the doorway to the kitchen. “I’ll talk to him tonight. I’ll tell him he needs to give your relationship another chance.”

  Mandy nodded, but in her heart, she was certain Katie Ann’s efforts would be wasted.

  Ephraim walked up his family’s back-porch steps later and saw Katie Ann sitting on the glider. He set his lantern on the railing and then leaned against it. “Isn’t it late for you to be outside in the cold?”

  “I’ve been waiting for you ever since Chris brought me home.” She pushed the glider into motion as she looked up at him. “Where have you been?”

  “I took a drive. Why?”

  “We need to talk.” She pointed at him. “Why are you being such an imbecile?”

  “Excuse me?” Irritation colored his words.

  “If you keep pushing Mandy away, you’ll eventually lose her forever.” Katie Ann stood and wagged a finger at him. “You’re going to regret it when you realize how stupid you’ve been.”

  “I think you need to mind your own business.” He picked up the lantern and moved toward the back door.

  “It’s kind of hard to mind my own business when I care about both of you and want you both to be froh. Everyone can see how much you love each other. Why can’t you take a step back and listen to what Mandy has to say?”

  He spun to face her. “I have listened, and we want different things. That’s why it can’t work between us.”

  Katie Ann threw up her hands. “Why does it matter so much where you live or where you work?”

  “Because I’m a Blank!” He pointed to the ground. “I belong here. And mei future kinner belong here. I don’t want to live with Mandy’s parents or become a brickmason.”

  “Do you think Uria wanted to give up working construction to become a dairy farmer?” Katie Ann crossed the porch and stood in front of him. “Darlene and Uria are making the best of a tough situation. Why can’t you and Mandy do the same for the sake of your love for each other?”

  Ephraim stilled as Katie Ann’s words rolled over him, but he didn’t want to talk anymore. “Gut nacht.”

  Yet as he climbed the stairs, he wondered if his sister could be right. Mamm said she and Dat would support whatever he decided. But would he dishonor his grandfather if he abandoned the farm that had sustained and defined his family for generations? He had to think about that too.

  CHAPTER 7

  Have you talked to Ephraim?” Tena asked as Mandy entered Emma’s kitchen Monday afternoon.

  “No. He wouldn’t even look at me at church yesterday, and you know he didn’t come to our garden meeting.” Mandy sat down at the table across from Tena and Emma and set a container in the center. “I can’t believe we’ve been apart for more than a week now. It feels like an eternity.” She sighed. “I came so you could try my cheesecake. I baked all morning, and even Rhoda and Dat are saying they can’t eat it all.”

  “Ach, mei liewe.” Emma shook her head. “It’s only been eight days. Don’t give up yet.”

  “It’s difficult not to. After our argument on Saturday, I’ve kind of lost hope.” Mandy removed the lid from the cake saver, and the sweet smell of the cake filled the kitchen.

  “All the guys are trying to make him realize he’s made a huge mistake by being so prideful.” Tena stood and crossed to the counter, where she took plates from a cabinet and forks from a drawer.

  “They’re still trying to get through to him?” Mandy heard the thread of hope in her voice.

  “Oh ya.” Tena brought the plates and forks to the table and then returned to the counter. “Even Katie Ann said she’s working on him.”

  “I know.” Mandy frowned as her hope deflated like a balloon. “She told me Saturday she was going to talk to him. I was hoping he’d show up at mei haus and ask to talk to me last night. I was imagining us sitting on the back-porch glider despite the cold, working out all our issues. Then he
’d propose to me again. But he didn’t come. It’s just a gegisch dream.”

  “Don’t give up on that dream.” Tena brought a knife and cake server to the table. “Someone will get through his stubborn head.”

  “I hope so.” Mandy stared at the cake. “I’ll run out of baking supplies.”

  Emma and Tena laughed, and Mandy felt the corner of her lips turn up into a smile.

  “I think that cake is too schee to eat,” Emma said.

  “No.” Tena shook her head. “It’s too schee to waste.”

  As Tena cut into the cake, Mandy smiled. Despite her overwhelming sadness over losing Ephraim, she was so grateful for her wonderful friends.

  Ephraim shivered as he walked out to the pasture fence. His father stood looking up as the sunset soaked the sky with shades of orange and yellow. The horizon was like a brilliant watercolor painting.

  “Mamm was looking for you.” Ephraim stood beside him and leaned on the fence. “What are you doing?”

  “Enjoying the sunset.” Dat gave him a sideways glance. “Sometimes you have to stop and enjoy the beauty of God’s creation.”

  Ephraim set his foot on the bottom rung of the split-rail fence. Then he rested his chin on his palm and his thoughts turned to Mandy for the hundredth time today. Was she watching the sunset too? He slammed his eyes shut. Why did she invade all his thoughts?

  “When your mamm and I first married, we argued nearly all the time.”

  Ephraim turned toward his father, curious. “Why?”

  Dat shrugged. “I think most newlyweds go through a similar phase. You’re trying to get used to living together, and you’re adjusting to each other’s moods. Mei dat used to say love is blind and marriage is the eye-opener.” His loud belly laugh echoed throughout the pasture, and Ephraim couldn’t stop a smile.

  “Daadi really said that?”

  “All the time.” Dat wiped at his eyes. “Your mamm and I were young, and we had a lot of growing up to do. We didn’t have a haus, and we didn’t have any money. Your bedroom was our bedroom until your mammi and daadi retired and moved into the daadihaus on mei bruder’s land.” He pointed across the pasture toward his younger brother’s farm, nearly twenty acres away from them.