A Plain and Simple Christmas Page 3

  While he read the letter, she smiled, thinking of her upcoming trip to Lancaster County at Christmas. A bump on her belly drew her attention to the unborn baby. She rested her hand on her abdomen and smiled while rubbing the location of the movement. She longed to give her child the gift of knowing her family in Lancaster. The trip was for her baby and the baby’s future as a member of the Beiler family.

  Kellan looked up and placed the letter on the table beside his plate. His expression was cautious. “I guess this means you want to go to Lancaster for Christmas. That’s what Grischtdaag is, right? Christmas?”

  “Yes, that’s right. Grischtdaag is Christmas.” Anna Mae nodded toward her belly. “I want to do this for our baby. Now is the best time to try to make amends.”

  He gave a tentative smile. “It sounds like a great idea, but I want you to be sure this is what you want. I don’t want you to get hurt. Your father used some harsh words when you left. I’ll never forget his words to you, Annie. He said you were no longer his daughter if you left.”

  She moved her hand over her abdomen in response to more kicks. “He didn’t mean that. He said it out of anger, hurt, and disappointment. I was his only child to leave the faith and the community.”

  Kellan’s eyes moved to her belly and a smile curved his lips. “Is he moving?”

  She nodded. “I think she’s doing somersaults.” She gave a grin.

  “I bet my boy likes steak. He’s a chip off the old block.” He placed his hand on her belly, and she covered it with her hand. “Wow.” His grin widened as he met her gaze. “He does like steak. He’s telling you to make it more often, Mommy.”

  “Yes, maybe she does like steak, Daddy. Girls can like steak too.” Leaning over, she brushed her lips against his.

  “I love you,” he said, his smile fading. “That’s why I support this trip, but I also don’t want your family to hurt you—especially now.”

  “But you encouraged me to write the letter. Why are you changing your mind?”

  “I thought about it more and I keep remembering how your father behaved when you left. I’m nervous about it.” He nodded toward her belly. “Your family could get you upset and then something could happen to him or her.” He shook his head, frowning. “Maybe we should wait until the summer or even next fall. By then the baby will be older, and traveling will be easier for us. If we wait, then we don’t have to risk you getting upset and something happening to you or the baby.”

  “I doubt anything bad will happen. I have a good feeling that this trip will go well, and I’ll get my family back.” She lifted his hands and intertwined her fingers with his. “Please don’t change your mind about this. It’s really important to me. Please do this for me. Let me see my family and try to rebuild a relationship with them.”

  He sighed, brushing back a lock of her hair with the fingers of his free hand. “Tomorrow you see the doctor, and you can get her opinion. If she says it’s safe for you to travel, then I’ll go to make you happy. But if your family upsets you, then I’ll bring you home immediately.”

  “It’s a deal.” She kissed his cheek. “Thank you. If the doctor says it’s safe, then I’ll call Kathryn and see what I can arrange.”

  “I need you to make me one promise, though.” He grimaced. “Just don’t make me stay at your father’s house.”

  She laughed. “I promise I won’t.”

  Kathryn handed the customer her change and her bag of pastries. “Thank you. Have a nice day.”

  As the woman walked toward the door, the bakery phone began to ring. Kathryn picked up the phone and cradled it between her ear and her neck.

  “Good afternoon,” she said. “Kauffman Amish Bakery.”

  “Hello,” a hesitant voice said. “May I please speak with Kathryn?”

  “This is she.” Kathryn absently straightened packages of cookies on the counter. “How may I help you?”

  “Kathryn,” the voice said. “This is Anna Mae.” Kathryn gasped and sank onto a stool behind her. “Oh my goodness! Anna Mae! Wie geht’s?”

  “I’m doing pretty well,” Anna Mae said. “How are you?”

  “Gut.” Kathryn glanced across the bakery showroom, glad to find it empty of customers. “I was so glad to hear from you. Congratulations on your baby!”

  “Thank you. I was delighted that you answered. I’m glad everyone is well.” She paused, as if gathering her thoughts. “Has my father asked about me or mentioned me at all?”

  Kathryn bit her lip, debating what to say. She didn’t want to lie, but the truth wouldn’t be easy to swallow.

  “It’s okay,” Anna Mae said quickly. “I didn’t think he had. You don’t need to smooth it over.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kathryn said. “I wish I had better news about him, but no, he hasn’t said anything to me. He may have said something to David.”

  “I doubt it. How’s my mamm?”

  “She’s gut.” Kathryn fingered her apron while she spoke. “She splits her time between helping care for her kinskinner and working in the farm store.”

  Anna Mae sniffed. “I’m so glad to hear it.” Her voice quavered, and she cleared her throat. “I’m glad your kinner are doing well. I bet they’re all getting so big.”

  “Ya.” Kathryn chuckled. “David wants ten. I’m leaving it in the Lord’s hands.”

  Anna Mae asked about her three sisters, and Kathryn gave her an update on their lives.

  “So much has changed in three years,” Anna Mae said. “I feel like I’ve been gone for a lifetime.”

  “It hasn’t been that long.” Kathryn glanced at the doorway and found her mother watching her with a smile. “Are you and Kellan still considering coming for Grischtdaag?”

  “I saw my doctor yesterday, and she said that it’s safe for me to travel. So, I really want to come.” Her voice was small, unsure.

  Kathryn paused, considering her husband’s disapproval. Still, Kathryn believed it was God’s will for the family to heal. “Do you want me to work out the details for you?” she asked, the words flowing despite her hesitation.

  “Yes, please.”

  Kathryn ran her fingers over the edge of the counter. “When will you arrive?”

  “The Wednesday before Christmas.”

  “That sounds perfect.” Kathryn found a notepad and pen by the phone. “Give me your phone number so we can keep in touch.” She wrote down the number as Anna Mae rattled it off. “I’ll see what I can arrange.”

  “Danki.” Anna Mae’s voice shook again. “It means more than you know.”

  They chatted about the weather and then hung up. Standing, Kathryn turned and found Amanda and her mother with expectant expressions.

  “I guess that was Aenti Anna Mae?” Amanda asked.

  “Ya, it was.” Kathryn sat back on the stool.

  “And she’s coming for Grischtdaag?” Amanda clasped her hands together, her eyes glistening with hope.

  “She wants to come.” Kathryn glanced at Elizabeth, hoping for an answer, a reason to go against David’s wishes.

  Elizabeth’s eyes assessed her. “And you think it’s a bad idea?”

  Kathryn blew out a frustrated sigh. “David is against it.”

  “What?” Amanda gasped. “Dat doesn’t want to see Aenti Anna Mae? Why?”

  “It’s complicated, Amanda,” Kathryn said, folding her hands over her apron. “We’ve already discussed this.”

  “Grossdaddi will understand,” Amanda said. “He’ll welcome her back and the family will all be together again.” Amanda looked between Kathryn and Elizabeth. “Besides, everyone is happy when someone is expecting a baby. Grossdaddi will be so happy to see her that he’ll forget all about how disappointed he was when she left.”

  Elizabeth looped her arm around Amanda and pulled her into a hug. “You’re such a smart maedel.”

  Kathryn studied her mother’s eyes. “So you would go against Dat if you believed something in your heart?”

  Elizabeth shrugged. “Dependi
ng upon the circumstance, maybe.”

  “And in this circumstance?” Amanda asked.

  Elizabeth winked. “One of my English customers once said it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to get permission.”

  Kathryn glanced at Amanda. “Don’t say anything to your siblings or Dat. I need to figure this out by myself before your dat finds out about it.”

  “But is that right, Mamm?” Amanda folded her arms and frowned. “Shouldn’t Dat know about this? Aenti Anna Mae is his schweschder.”

  Kathryn gave Amanda a stern look.

  Amanda sighed. “Fine. My lips are sealed,” she grumbled and marched back into the kitchen.

  “What am I teaching mei dochder?” Kathryn muttered, rubbing her temple.

  Elizabeth touched her arm. “You’re teaching her to follow her heart when she feels God speaking to her. If Anna Mae is meant to come here, then the plans will fall together and all will work out the way God wants it to.”

  Kathryn shook her head and grimaced. “I pray you’re right.”

  Later that evening, Kathryn placed the last clean dish in the cabinet and thanked the girls for helping clean up after supper. The girls ran upstairs to take their baths and get ready for bed.

  The back door opened and slammed, and David entered the kitchen and sighed. “Chores are done. It’s been a long day,” he said, sitting at the kitchen table. “It feels good to relax.”

  “Ya,” she whispered. She grabbed two glasses of water and sat across from him. Thoughts swirled through her mind like a tornado. Guilt weighed down on her, feeling like a stone sitting on her chest and stealing her breath. How could she possibly deceive the man who’d been her best friend and confidante since she was a child?

  “Is something wrong, Katie?” he asked, lifting his glass. “You seem preoccupied.” He took a long drink.

  Kathryn cleared her throat. “I spoke to Anna Mae today.”

  His eyes widened with shock. “You spoke to her? What do you mean?”

  She took a sip of water and cleared her throat. “She called the bakery.”

  “How is she?”

  “She’s doing gut.” She traced the condensation on the glass with her fingertip. “She and Kellan still want to come and visit for Grischtdaag. I told her it sounded like a nice idea.” She inhaled a breath, awaiting his response.

  “Katie.” Reaching over, he took her hand in his. “You know it’s a bad idea. I told you we’ll go visit her in the spring, and that’s what we’ll do. Forget any plans for their coming for Grischtdaag. It just won’t work out the way you’d like.”

  “But David, it’s Grischtdaag. The family should be together.”

  “You know as well as I do that having Anna Mae and her husband here would just upset my dat. We don’t want that at Grischtdaag. We’ll go to Baltimore and visit Anna Mae in the spring and discuss inviting her back another time. We’ll have to warn my daed about it and prepare for the visit. Having them just drop in would cause problems that I’m not ready to face.”

  “But I really feel that this is the time to invite her,” she said slowly, choosing her words as best she could. “It feels like God is leading me to this. I feel it strongly in my heart, David. I’m not just making this decision lightly. It’s coming from the very depths of my soul.”

  “I’m too tired to discuss this now, Katie.” He yawned. “The store was busy all day long, and I’m ready to read the Bible and relax. We’ll go see my schweschder in the spring. That’s it. It’s decided.” He stood. “This discussion is over.” He started for the door.

  “Wait.” Kathryn stood and took a deep breath. “I’m not finished.”

  Turning, he raised his eyebrows.

  “You read the letter,” she said. “Anna Mae and Kellan are expecting their first child. They want to rebuild their relationship with the family for the child’s sake.” She stepped over to him. “Surely you can understand that.”

  He frowned. “I’ve already told you that we’ll visit her in the spring. You need to let this go. A Christmas visit is not a good idea. There’s nothing else to discuss.”

  “But David—”

  He grimaced. “There’s nothing else to discuss, Kathryn.” He turned and crossed the room, and Kathryn’s resentment simmered in her soul.

  Glowering, she snatched the glasses from the table and washed them. David had a knack for deciding when a discussion was over, whether she was finished making her case or not. David had no problem walking away when they’d had a heated debate. He would let it go, not discussing it any further. He would probably be reticent the rest of the evening, but by tomorrow he’d be past it, acting as if the disagreement had never happened. However, Kathryn would hang onto her resentment, mulling the problem over and over again in her mind and thinking of everything she should’ve said to him to make her case.

  She knew tonight would be one of those nights when she’d go to bed and lie awake for hours, probably most of the night. While drying the glasses, she contemplated Anna Mae. Kathryn’s heart had swelled at the sound of Anna Mae’s voice. She had sounded so hopeful on the phone, so desperate to be reunited with her family.

  How could a family reunion at Christmastime be wrong? Wasn’t that the best time of year for a family to work out issues and become one again? Besides, Anna Mae was building bridges for her unborn child. Surely David understood that!

  David’s concern regarding his father’s temper was valid. Henry Beiler was a strict bishop who stuck to the rules and expected the district, especially his family, to follow suit.

  While Henry was a stickler for the Amish way, he also had a big heart. She’d seen him drop whatever he was doing to help a family in need. He’d organized more than one barn raising, and he had also spent long hours helping Kathryn’s father and brothers rebuild the furniture store after it burned down. Kathryn loved and respected her father-in-law, and she believed that deep down he missed his youngest daughter and would be overjoyed to see her come back at Christmas. Why couldn’t David see that?

  Kathryn placed the clean glasses into the cabinet and squeezed her eyes shut. She wished she knew the right answer. Was inviting Anna Mae to Christmas against her husband’s wishes a mistake? Was it a sin to make the plans behind her husband’s back? Of course it was, since she’d have to lie to David in order to arrange for Anna Mae to come. Lying was always a sin.

  But was not revealing the whole truth a lie?

  She rubbed her temples. Of course it was a lie. She’d punished her children more than once for leaving out important details in their stories, telling them they’d lied.

  Kathryn folded her hands. She needed a sign. She needed God to reveal the right answer to her.

  Gnawing her lower lip, she sent up a silent prayer to God, asking—no pleading with Him—for a sign, a clear-cut sign, that inviting Anna Mae was the right decision for the Beiler family’s Christmas.

  CHAPTER 4

  Saturday morning, Kathryn wiped down the counter in the large, open bakery kitchen. When a flurry of Pennsylvania Dietsch floated in from the front of the store, she moved to the doorway and found her mother-in-law, Mary Rose, chatting with her mother and Amanda.

  Kathryn approached Mary Rose and hugged her. “Wie geht’s?”

  “Gut.” Mary Rose smiled. “How are you?”

  “Gut. What brings you out here?” Kathryn asked.

  “I wanted to see how you all were doing.” She glanced toward Elizabeth. “David told me the bakery has been hectic with Englishers coming in for goodies for their Christmas parties. I’m glad to hear the bakery is staying so busy.”

  “Ya, it has been busy. You’ve come by during a lull today. We had a rush earlier.” Elizabeth gestured toward the kitchen. “Can I get you some coffee and a piece of chocolate cake?”

  Mary Rose brightened. “That sounds wunderbaar. Danki.”

  Elizabeth touched Amanda’s arm. “Will you help me?”

  “Ya,” Amanda said, following her into the kitchen.

/>   Kathryn gestured toward one of the small tables across from the counter. “Let’s have a seat. It’s nice and quiet now, so we can talk for a while.” She led Mary Rose to the table. “How’s Henry doing?” she asked as she sat.

  “Oh, he’s gut,” Mary Rose said, lowering herself into a chair. “He’s been busy at the store. I’m sure David has told you that they’ve had a nonstop stream of customers the past week.”

  “Ya, he has.” Kathryn ran her fingers over the cool wooden table. “I’m glad to hear it.”

  Mary Rose’s gaze focused across the room and her smile faded. “Can I tell you something, Kathryn?”

  “Of course. Was iss letz?”

  “Nothing’s wrong, but there’s something I want to share with you because I know you’ll understand.” Mary Rose sighed and looked at Kathryn. “Lately, I can’t stop thinking about Anna Mae. I’ve dreamed of her nearly every night the past week. I can’t stop worrying about her.”

  Kathryn cupped her hand to her mouth to squelch the gasp bubbling up from her throat. Was this the sign from God she’d prayed for?

  Mary Rose, unaffected by Kathryn’s reaction, kept talking. “I want to know how she is. Is she froh with her life with Kellan in Baltimore? Does she need anything? Does she miss us? Does she have any kinner? If so, will I ever know them?”

  “Have you tried to contact her lately?” Kathryn asked, hoping to conceal her shock at Mary Rose’s revelation.

  Mary Rose shook her head, tears glistening in her brown eyes. “Not since last Grischtdaag. She sends me a card with a short letter every year and I send her one in return.”

  “Have you ever considered inviting her for Grischtdaag?” Kathryn bit her lip, hoping Mary Rose would say yes.

  Frowning, Mary Rose shook her head. “Henry wouldn’t hear of it.”

  “But we’re permitted to see those who are shunned. You know that.”

  “You know your father-in-law.” Mary Rose’s voice quavered, and she cleared her throat and wiped her eyes. “He would only agree to see her if she were coming back to make things right with the church. I believe her love for Kellan is strong and she’s left the Amish church for good. I just wish I could see her again. No matter what, she’s my dochder, and I miss her terribly.”