Winter Blessings Read online

  “What are you thinking about for table decorations?” Ephraim’s voice broke through her thoughts.

  “What?” She spun to face him.

  “I asked what you’re thinking about for table decorations.”

  “Oh.” She forced a smile. “Mamm and I think we should go with a blue candle that matches the dresses, and maybe a little baby’s breath. That will be simple but elegant.”

  “Sounds perfect.”

  “Ya.” She blew out a sigh.

  “What was that sigh for?”

  “The truth is I just don’t see how I can accomplish everything I need to do for the wedding in six weeks.” She threw up her hands, almost spilling the stack of kitchenware on her lap to the floor.

  “Well, both of our schweschdere will help you. Your mamm, too, right?”

  “I know, but still, it’s hardly enough time.” Her shoulders tightened as she awaited his response, even though she wasn’t sure what she wanted him to say.

  He halted the horse at a red light and faced her. “Would you feel better if we went by to see mei mamm? Maybe she can help make the decorations.”

  “Really?” Hope lit in Mandy’s chest.

  “Sure.” He smiled. “I bet she’ll be thrilled to help.”

  “Great.” She gripped the stack on her lap. If Ephraim’s mother agreed to help, surely some of the stress plaguing her would ease.

  CHAPTER 2

  After Mandy placed the dish and container on the floor of the buggy, Ephraim held out his hand as she climbed out. “Everything will be fine. I promise you.”

  “Danki.” She laced her fingers with his and enjoyed the reassurance his hand entangled with hers always gave her.

  She allowed him to steer her through the cold air up the path and to the back porch. As they entered the home’s back door, voices sounded from the kitchen.

  “Do your parents have guests?” she asked Ephraim as she pulled off her coat.

  “I wasn’t expecting any.” Ephraim took her coat and hung it on a peg next to his.

  Mandy followed him into the kitchen, where they found Ephraim’s parents sitting with his older sister, Darlene. Her husband, Uria, and their young daughters, Savannah and Rebekah, were there too.

  “Darlene!” Ephraim said as they walked in. He greeted Uria and the girls. “How are you all doing?”

  “Hi, Mandy!” Savannah waved. Seven years old, she had her mother’s light-brown hair and honey-brown eyes, so like Ephraim’s as well.

  “Hi.” Mandy waved hello to all of them and then took a seat in the empty chair by Rebekah. She was nine and had the same coloring her sister had. Mandy glanced around the table and took in the adults’ expressions.

  Something was wrong. Didn’t Ephraim notice? His parents’ faces looked serious, and Uria looked upset. Had his sister been crying?

  “Would you like some kaffi?” Ephraim’s mother held up a carafe.

  “Ya. Danki, Leona.” Mandy pushed back her chair.

  “Sit. I’ll get you a mug.” Ephraim retrieved two mugs from a cabinet. “I didn’t know you all were coming. I would have stayed home from the meeting at Emma’s if I’d known. What brought you here today, Darlene?”

  Mandy noticed a look pass between Darlene and her mother, and Darlene dabbed her eyes. What was going on?

  Ephraim filled the mugs with coffee before setting one in front of Mandy. After he sat down next to Uria, she saw him take a good look at his parents and then his sister. “What am I missing?”

  “I lost my job,” Uria said.

  “What? When?” Ephraim’s handsome face clouded with a scowl.

  “Back in August.” Uria blew out a deep sigh. “The construction company closed. I’ve been doing odd jobs and looking for something permanent, but nothing has panned out.”

  “I’m so sorry to hear that,” Ephraim said. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?”

  “We were hoping something else would come along,” Darlene said. “We hated to burden you all with our problems.”

  “Do you have a plan?” Ephraim asked.

  Mandy sipped her coffee. When she felt something touch her arm, she turned and found Rebekah holding up a chocolate chip cookie.

  “Danki,” Mandy whispered as she took the cookie and bit into it.

  “We came to ask for help.” Darlene looked at her husband and rubbed his arm. “We can’t pay our rent anymore, and we’ve gone through our savings. We have nowhere else to go.”

  “They’re going to move in with us!” Ephraim’s father said. “Uria will help Ephraim and me run the dairy farm, and we’ll get to spend more time with our granddaughters.”

  Mandy was glad to hear his cheerful tone. Yet knowing his daughter and her family had come to this point had to be difficult.

  Mandy took another drink as she tried to catch Ephraim’s eye. The stress in the room was palpable. This felt like a private family discussion. If Ephraim would just look at her, she could motion for him to take her home.

  Mandy felt a tug on her sleeve. She turned as Rebekah held out another cookie. While her parents were trying to find stability, the girls just seemed happy to be eating cookies.

  “Danki,” Mandy said again as she took the cookie and placed it on a napkin next to her half-eaten first one.

  The back door opened and clicked shut, and Katie Ann appeared in the doorway.

  “Darlene!” She went to her sister and hugged her. “I didn’t know you were coming today. Rebekah! Savannah!” She hugged her nieces next. “What’s the occasion?” She sat down next to Savannah and took a cookie from the little girl’s plate with a grin.

  Darlene cleared her throat. “Well, Uria lost his job in August, and he hasn’t found anything permanent. Since then we’ve depleted our savings.”

  Katie Ann looked around the table. “Are you moving in, then?”

  “Ya,” Leona said. “They are. We were just discussing that. Uria is going to work on the farm with your dat and Ephraim.”

  “Darlene and Uria can take the sewing room,” Dat said.

  “And the maed can stay with me.” Katie Ann turned to her nieces. “Would you like that? One of you can sleep in my big bed. And we’ll get a cot for the other.”

  “Yay!” Rebekah clapped her hands. “We can stay with Aenti Katie Ann.”

  “Can I bring my dolls?” Savannah’s tone seemed hesitant.

  “Of course you can.” Katie Ann poised to take a bite of her cookie. “I’ll clear some of my shelves. You can both bring your special things.”

  Savannah seemed satisfied with that.

  “Are you really okay with this?” Darlene’s eyes glistened.

  Katie Ann rubbed Savannah’s arm. “I always have room for my favorite nieces.”

  “We’re your only nieces,” Rebekah said, and Katie Ann laughed.

  “I really appreciate it,” Darlene said. “We just don’t know what else to do.”

  “We’ll make it work for now.” Marlin reached across the table and touched Darlene’s hand. “I’ll build you all a haus in the spring. We’ll just be a little cramped in this haus until then.”

  “Danki, Dat. We hate to be a burden.”

  “Family is never a burden, mei liewe,” Marlin insisted.

  “Would it be all right if we move in this week?” Uria asked. “We have to be out of our rental as soon as possible.”

  “Ya, of course. We can help you move tomorrow.” Marlin turned to Ephraim and Katie Ann. “Right?”

  They both nodded.

  Mandy shifted on her chair. This conversation felt so personal. She shouldn’t be here. She turned to Ephraim, who had finally looked at her. He raised his eyebrows in question. “Why don’t you take me home?”

  “Okay.” Ephraim pushed back his chair.

  “It was nice seeing you all,” Mandy said.

  They all said good-bye, and she followed Ephraim into the mudroom. After they pulled on their coats, they headed into the cold and climbed into his buggy.

&nbsp
; They rode in silence as he guided the horse away from the house. Mandy contemplated the family’s discussion. The Blanks were facing some big changes. Her heart broke a little as she recalled the sadness on Darlene’s face.

  “Why didn’t Uria tell us when he lost his job?” Ephraim’s question broke through their silence. “He and Darlene should have known we wouldn’t consider knowing about their troubles a burden.”

  “Maybe he was embarrassed. I’m sure he feels responsible for taking care of his family, and he never expected to find himself in such dire straits.”

  “But my parents could have helped them months ago.” Ephraim gave her a sideways glance.

  “Uria probably thought a job was going to come through.” Mandy bit her bottom lip as she suddenly saw her future shifting. How could Marlin build a house for Darlene and her family next spring and build one for Ephraim and Mandy at the same time? It wasn’t possible. And how could the family manage with so many people in the house all winter, including her? She wouldn’t be a blessing. Even though she knew they’d never think so, she’d be a burden!

  Only one solution made sense.

  “It will be different having Darlene and her family living with us,” Ephraim said, his voice pleasant as he looked out the windshield. “But it will be nice to see my nieces every day.”

  “The haus will be cramped,” Mandy said.

  “Cramped?” Ephraim shrugged. “Ya, I suppose so, but we’ll make do.” He smiled at her. “Just wait until you move in. Then it will really be chaotic.”

  “You don’t honestly think I should still move in?”

  “What do you mean?” He halted the horse at a red light and turned toward her. “Why wouldn’t you move in?”

  She angled her body toward him. “The last thing your parents will need is another mouth to feed. You’re already going to have eight people in the haus.”

  “Exactly. That’s why it won’t make a difference if there’s a ninth.”

  “No.” Mandy shook her head. “We need to delay the wedding. Not just because it will be crowded with me there, but to give your family the time they need to adjust. It won’t hurt us to wait a few months.”

  His eyes went wide. “You don’t want to marry me as soon as possible?”

  “Of course I do. But I think we should delay the wedding for your family’s sake. Besides, I’m stressed because I don’t have enough time to get everything done. An eight-week engagement has turned out to be too short.”

  “We have plenty of time,” he said, insisting.

  “No, we don’t. And now your parents have more important things to worry about.”

  A horn behind them tooted, and Ephraim guided the horse through the intersection.

  A heavy silence fell between them, and Mandy racked her brain for how to make Ephraim understand her point of view. Wasn’t it obvious that this wasn’t the best time to get married?

  “Ephraim, please hear me out,” she began. “Your parents are under a lot of stress right now. The wedding is the last thing they need to worry about. They need to be concerned about Darlene and her family first.”

  “I disagree,” Ephraim said. “They love you, and they want you to be part of our family.”

  “I know that,” Mandy kept her words measured. “I love your family, too, but things will be better in a few months. Let’s wait until everything settles down. We’ll still have to wait for our haus, but at least—”

  “No.” He interrupted her. “I don’t want to wait.”

  Mandy pinched the bridge of her nose. “There’s no reason to rush.”

  “There’s no reason to wait,” he said, challenging her.

  She blew out a frustrated sigh and looked out at the passing traffic.

  “You’re having doubts, aren’t you?” he spat. “That’s the real reason you want to put off the wedding. You were going to use the excuse that you had too much to do, but now Darlene has given you an even better excuse.”

  “What?” She spun to face him. “That’s ridiculous!”

  “Then why won’t you marry me now?”

  “I’ve already explained my reasoning. Why can’t you wait a few months?” she said. “What’s the hurry? We’ve been engaged only two weeks. Let’s take our time and enjoy our engagement.”

  “You’ve known me nearly your whole life. We don’t need a long engagement.”

  She scrunched her eyes shut. “Why are you being so stubborn about this?”

  He turned back toward the windshield and stared at the road ahead. A muscle ticked in his tense jaw.

  Mandy folded her arms over her chest and sat up straight. They were at a stalemate. She couldn’t think of any way to sway him.

  They sat in silence as her family’s house came into view. If only she could cut the tension pulsing between them.

  “Ephraim,” she said when they stopped behind her house, “I’ve loved you since I was a little girl. I always dreamt that someday you would see me as more than Katie Ann’s best friend, and that dream came true last Christmas. Then another dream came true when you asked me to be your fraa.”

  She turned to face him and found him staring at his lap. “I do want to marry you, but I think we need to wait a few months. Your family is in turmoil now. Your parents will most likely be relieved if they hear we’re going to delay the wedding. That will give your family time to adjust to this new situation without my adding to the crowded conditions, and, yes, it will give me time to prepare for the wedding.”

  “We’ll have my room.”

  “And four women would be sharing the kitchen instead of three. I think that will be too much for all of us. We’ll trip over each other. We didn’t even plan for three, since we thought we’d have our own haus next spring. Now your schweschder and her family need one instead.”

  “I think you’ve changed your mind about marrying me, but you won’t admit it.”

  “That’s not true! I’ve just realized it’s too soon for our wedding, especially since your family is dealing with a crisis. It would be selfish for us to get married now.”

  “Selfish?”

  “Ya, selfish. You need to think about your schweschder and her family. You have to move them in and help rearrange the haus. How can you even think about our wedding when they need your help?”

  “So you think I’m selfish.” He leaned back against the buggy door. “What else do you think about me?”

  “You’re twisting my words.” She threw up her hands and nearly dropped the dish and container still on her lap. “I don’t understand why we’re arguing about this.”

  “Maybe we should just break up.”

  “What?” Her eyes stung, threatening tears. “You want to break up with me just because I want to delay our wedding?” She fought a sob as tears welled.

  “Even if you do still want to marry me, you don’t seem to want to deal with my family’s problems because you’ll be inconvenienced. Not just with what you consider a crowd, but because we won’t have our own haus as soon as we thought. So maybe we should just forget our plans.”

  “Ephraim, you’re overreacting. Stop and listen to what you’re saying.”

  “I know what I’m saying. My family has a hard time, so you choose to distance yourself.”

  “I don’t want to break up. You’re blowing this way out of proportion!” Her voice shook as fear spiraled through her. But she was frustrated too. “Maybe you’re too stubborn to think someone else might have a gut idea. You always have to be in control. You always have to make the decisions in our relationship. My opinion matters too!”

  “Is that so?” he snapped. “So you think I’m selfish, bossy, and controlling?”

  “Ya, I do!”

  “Maybe this relationship won’t work, then.”

  “I never said that!”

  “We need some space.” He turned to stare out the windshield.

  “What does that mean?”

  “That means we should take a break and talk about this again some o
ther time.”

  “So you are breaking up with me?” Her voice shook.

  “I don’t know.” Ephraim scrubbed his hand down his face. “This is too much to take in. It’s been a crazy night.”

  “I know.” She nodded as her hands trembled. “But I love you. I don’t want to take a break. I just want to slow down.”

  He shook his head. “Well, I do need a break. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “But you’re moving your schweschder and her family tomorrow.”

  “So we’ll talk another day.”

  Was she dreaming? This felt like a nightmare!

  “We’ll talk another day,” she repeated, trying to make sense of his words. “You just told me you need a break, and you don’t know when you want to work it out.” Her stomach tightened with growing panic.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “No, Ephraim, I’m sorry.” She scooped up the container and dish with one arm, flung open the buggy door, and ran up the path to the back porch. Once in the mudroom, she dropped the containers on the bench, shucked her coat, and hung it on a peg on the wall. Then she sank to the floor, covered her face with her hands, and dissolved into gasping sobs.

  CHAPTER 3

  Mandy!” Mamm’s voice sounded close by.

  Mandy tried in vain to get hold of her raging emotions, but her tears continued to fall, rolling down her cheeks, darkening her black apron and the skirt of her favorite green dress. She removed her hands from her face and found her mother squatting in front of her. Mamm pushed back a stray tendril of Mandy’s hair that had escaped her prayer covering.

  “Was iss letz?” Mamm’s sky-blue eyes were warm and kind, causing more tears to fill Mandy’s eyes. Mamm clicked her tongue. “Ach, mei liewe. What could possibly have upset you so much?”

  “I think it’s over,” Mandy managed.

  “What’s over?” Mamm’s eyes searched hers.

  “Eph—” Mandy couldn’t say the words aloud. Had Ephraim truly broken their engagement? Wasn’t she dreaming? But her broken heart was real—so real she thought she could feel the shards cutting her inside.